


Dear Magic

by miseryroot



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, F/F, F/M, Magic, No naughty details., Sad, Vampires, Werewolves, Witches
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-01
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-02-26 00:37:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 32,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13224537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miseryroot/pseuds/miseryroot
Summary: Witches are born of the secrets of the Earth and brought forth by the will of humans. They say that there are two type of witches. Ones that were created by intense emotion usually associated with the horrible things that happen to humans like murder, death, war, famine, or natural catastrophe. The other type of witch is born out of the hopes of humanity, the wishes of happiness and perfection for mankind. So which type was the Blue Witch?





	1. Equal Exchange

"Please! We're friends! You have to help me! I can't do this on my own I need your magic! Lapis, I love her! Please I have to bring her back!" Pearl begged, on her knees at Lapis' front door. It was well past midnight and pouring rain outside. Rose Quartz had passed away a few hours prior after a few days trying to recover from her traumatic and difficult childbirth. Infection had gotten to her. 

The witch's eyes were wide and her hands were shaking as she reached out to grab the baby from the vampire's grasp. Pearl handed him over quickly, looking slightly relieved as she sobbed.

A spell of exchange. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. A life for a life. It wouldn't be the first time that Lapis had weaved such a spell, but it never before under these circumstances. She had known Rose. She knew that the healer would never want something like this. She has spent her life mixing herbs and helping humanity without the means of magic. Rose knew plenty of witches. If she had wanted to live under unnatural means she would have asked one of them to be there during the birth.

Rose wanted this all to be done naturally and for her life to run it's course, whichever course it was going to be. And Pearl was asking her to change that and go against a dead woman's wishes. Lapis grimaced, and steadied herself. She held Steven tightly and firmly before shaking her head at the vampire kneeling before her.

"This is what Rose wanted, Pearl. I will not change it for you. Who do you take me for? Leave now, I will see the boy is taken care of until you have mourned her death and pulled yourself together." Lapis responded, steeling herself for whatever was to happen next.

"What do I take you for?! A witch! A dangerous, murderous witch! What do you care about some ridiculous child?! I take you for the monster that you are!" Pearl screamed, iris' turning red, "I take you for someone that should understand my pain! When the woman you loved was taken you destroyed everything in sight! What's one little life?!"

"The only monster here tonight is you, Pearl. You should really take your leave, you have disgraced yourself enough." Lapis replied cooly as she began to close the door.

Pearl pushed it back open, knocking Lapis down and smashing the door into the wall. Steven began to wail but his sharp cries only seemed to infuriate the vampire more. Lapis tried to sit up to get up again, still clutching onto Steven. Pearl grabbed her throat and slammed her back down to the floor, digging her fingernails into her old friend's throat.

"You stupid bitch! Why couldn't you just do what I asked of you?! All I want back is the woman I love! What is it?! Are you jealous?! You want me to suffer like you?! I'll make you suffer!" Pearl hissed, gripping tighter.

But suddenly she felt like her body was on fire. Pearl gasped, letting go of Lapis. The witch sat up, eyes entirely pitch black. She was sputtering out incantations and the vampire felt the burning get worse and worse, only lessening when she continued to back away from the witch. And so she turned tail and ran.

Lapis sighed, patting Steven's back gently. His wailing started to subside once Pearl left. Lapis stood up and spoke a short incantation to fix her door, and to protect the area from Pearl. She took Steven to her room and rocked him until he fell back asleep. Being a newborn it didn't take long. In the morning she would find a wet nurse for him and a safer place for him to stay.

She set him down on her bed, bundling blankets around him so he wouldn't fall while she went to assess the damage to her neck.

Lapis sighed, seeing the large bruise and black droplets of blood on her neck. Her eyes turned black again and the blood receded back into her neck, the cuts closed, and the bruises cleared up. In the blink of an eye her's were back to normal and she made her way back to her bed.

The witch laid down next to Steven and curled herself around him.

Damn it all. She had stuck herself with a child. Pearl was right. In the old days if the vampire had asked for this she probably would have done it. The Blue Witch was known to be a monster several millennia ago, but not anymore. All the senseless slaughter was behind her, or so she hoped.

Lapis understood the pain Pearl was going through, and her faulty behavior. But it wasn't going to change her mind. Pearl would grieve and then get some clarity. The vampire would return and grow to love and protect Steven. That is who the witch knew her friend to be.

"But she does owe me for this, Steven." she mused.


	2. Fatal Flaw

"Lapis you can't take care of a baby! Your life is way to weird. I can't see you as a mom either."

"Amethyst I'm not going to be raising Steven. I found him a good home with some old friends of mine. I'm just looking after him until they can make it here. I've put a few spells on him to keep him safe while he's here; and I'm still going to be in his life when he leaves." Lapis responded, rolling her eyes at her friend's comment, "But I resent the idea of not seeing me as a mother. I used to be a mother of sorts. As I witch I may not be able to give birth to a child, but we can create pixies. Two witches combining their abilities to create life makes wonderful results. I fussed over my pixie quite often like I suppose a mother would."

"I didn't mean it as an insult. You're just so pretty and delicate that it's hard for me to see you as a care taker. I can't believe you had a baby and never told me. I feel tricked. Where is she? Why haven't I ever met her?" Amethyst questioned, a bit insulted by the lack of information.

"She... A pixie is fueled by the magic of two witches. So if one of the witches is no longer in the realm of the living the pixie ceases to be. I lost her long ago with my love. In a way it was a good thing. I couldn't have taken care of her after that anyways." Lapis lamented, staring down at the table intensely until her teapot started whistling on the stove.

The witch stood up and quickly poured their tea and got some sugar out. Amethyst didn't know what to say. She hadn't expected that response. The reason why Lapis never told her was because she rarely talked about her love passing away. Amethyst had only asked her about it directly once. Lapis brushed it off by saying that they shouldn't talk of such old and sad things when the werewolf was such a young and happy being.

"W-Where's Steven?" Amethyst asked quietly, trying to change the subject.

"Oh he's in the guest room with Sadie. She's a very sweet girl. She lost her own baby from grief when her husband went missing. A truly terrible situation. I offered to find him in exchange for her services. It wasn't terribly difficult." Lapis mused, "Steven loves her a lot and she seems happy to be around him. Maybe it fills the void a little. She and her husband are going to leave with Steven when he goes. I think it's important he's around humans as well."

"Yeah that's true. I wouldn't know what to do without my pack. Without others of my kind I would feel very alone." the werewolf admitted.

Lapis nodded her head. As the leader Amethyst was nearly always with her pack. She'd formed it after she and Lapis split. The witch understood that they needed her friend more than she did, but she still missed Amethyst terribly.

"So Pearl attacked you? Are you sure you don't want me to confront her about it?"

"Yes, she did. And that's very sweet, but it's not necessary. She was just overcome with grief. That's why I took Steven. Pearl was very distraught about it but she knew it was for the best. I'm sure she misses him terribly."

It was a lie, but did their friends really need to know the truth about what happened? The witch believed it was better kept between the vampire and herself. What really happened and what Pearl was asking for would surely appall the werewolf. Besides, Lapis knew Pearl would love Steven with time and she didn't want this incident to get in the way of that.

"You're too nice to her. She's not your lover anymore Lapis. She left you when you introduced her to Rose." Amethyt grumbled, a scowl set on her face.

"Hey, hey don't make that face. I thought they'd really hit it eventually anyways. Don't resent her over it. I was not with her to keep her. We were just placeholders for each other and we parted like I always knew we would. Just like you and I did." Lapis shrugged, getting up and checking on their dinner in the oven.

The werewolf got up as well and grabbed Lapis' hand, "Aren't you lonely?"

Amethyst was staring at the witch intently, trying desperately to see past Lapis' happy facade that she always put up. She wanted so badly to peer into her former lover's soul and know the truth.

"Of course... Who is never lonely? I can't hold onto either of you just to not be lonely, though. That would be too cruel. My love for you, my love for Pearl.. It's just not enough. It's light and delicate, and the heart needs more than that. And you both deserve to be truly in love. I can't take that away from either of you. I won't. My love is not enough for anyone anymore." the witch murmured. Her eyes looked dim and filled to the brim with sorrow.

None of this sounded okay to the werewolf. But she knew disagreeing with Lapis would get her absolutely no where. It never had. Her former lover was fractured in ways that she could never really understand. She hated how everything in life could be so wrong and unfair to the witch, and yet Lapis could stand there chatting with her as if nothing was wrong. Amethyst desperately wanted it to stop, to put an end to all of Lapis' misery. She'd told the witch just that once.

Lapis had told her that it was impossible and not to attempt such a task. The witch would occasionally tell her unfavorable truths such as this, but Amethyst never wanted to believe them.

She had once heard that Lapis was very different long before she was born. That she used to be called the Blue Witch and that she was ruthless, destroying anything she set her eyes upon. 

When they were together she had brought it up. Lapis just gave her a sad look. The witch told her it was true and that when she lost her love she lost her mind as well. It took her a long time to recover. She was ashamed of what she did and wished she would undo it, but nothing could turn back time. All she could do was try to be better now.

Amethyst took her word for it, but had a hard time imagining her pretty, delicate witch to be a psychotic mass murderer.

That was the problem with their relationship. The werewolf never wanted to believe the harsh truths that Lapis would present to her. Like that she could never love Amethyst like she loved her first love. The werewolf thought she could change that. That she could make Lapis love her more than anyone and that she would be the one to fix the witch.

She was naive. 

"Earth to Amethyst?"

Amethyst looked up to realize that Lapis had let go of her hand and was placing their food on the table that she had set. The werewolf rushed over to her and pulled the witch into a kiss. 

She wanted to feel Lapis' passion and love, but it just wasn't there. While the kiss was nice it was the same as always; lighthearted. Amethyst pulled away and turned her back to the witch, wrapping her arms around herself.

"Am I that bad a kisser?"

Amethyst shook her head, turning back to the witch and grabbing her tightly. Lapis could feel the water in the younger woman's tears before they even landed on her. The witch frowned, and ran her hands through the werewolf's hair until she stopped crying.

After a few minutes Amethyst let go of her and the pair sat down and ate dinner in silence. Lapis could see the pain on the werewolf's face and it felt horrible knowing that she was the one that was causing the hurt. Lapis offered her the guest room that night but Amethyst refused.

"What, you're too good for me to sleep in your bed now?" the werewolf joked.

That night Amethyst held onto Lapis' with an iron grip as if the witch would vanish if she didn't.

When Lapis woke up the next morning to Steven's cries her former lover was long gone.


	3. Whiskey Nights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the second chapter I've put up tonight. I really hope you all continue to enjoy this fanfiction. The support has been truly amazing. Thank you all for all the comments and kudos.

“We will take good care of him, Lapis. Thank you for calling. I know it must have been hard. I'm sorry we took so long to get Steven, we just wanted to be prepared for him.”

Lapis nodded her head absent mindedly. It was hard. She barely ever talked to her oldest friends. Not fully because she didn’t want to, but because it was painful. They brought back memories with them. And Ruby and Sapphire’s great love was one for the story books.

It made her miss her’s.

They were there that day, trying to hold her back from interfering. It took both their magic to stop her from halting the sacrifice and taking her rightful place as the original candidate. Her love had begged them to prevent Lapis from getting involved. She could never forget the feeling of their hands holding her down as she screamed and cried watching as the swing of a sword took off her love's head in the blink of an eye.

She had a rough time forgiving the two other witches for that.

“Thank you for taking him. I knew you two would be perfect. I’m not right to be a parent ever again.” Lapis said meekly, staring down at the floor. She'd barely looked at them the whole time that they were there. Sapphire was holding Steven, and Ruby had collected all the things Lapis had for him. She didn’t want to see it.

“Come see him whenever you want. We would love to see you too.” Sapphire murmured. It was kind.

What was even kinder was that they left without needing a response or a goodbye. They understood it was hard for her. They still knew her even though thousands of years passed them by.

Lapis slowly walked into her kitchen. She grabbed an old bottle of liquor and made her way back to her living room. She set the bottle down on the floor and whispered a small spell for fire in her fire place. It had started pouring rain outside when they showed up and it only got worse when they left. She couldn’t help it. It was the only true tell of her deep pain and as much as she tried to hold it back the hurt was just too much tonight. She took swigs from the bottle and stared into the fire. 

Loneliness was inevitable.

Falling in love with that baby was inevitable. But he was not her’s and she could not be his.

Try as she may to make it look like she was okay and put together nothing could change how it really was. She was a lonely person. A sad person, a murderous witch with a broken heart. She gulped down the liquor desperately. She sat there and contemplated hopes, dreams, and memories for hours.

And then there were knocks. She stood up slowly from her place by the fire. She opened the door to see Pearl standing there, soaked to the bone. It had been a year since she last saw her. She grabbed the vampire’s hand and led her inside silently. Lapis shut the door and went down the hall. She grabbed a blanket for the two of them to share.

The witch mumbled an enchantment and the water evaporated off Pearl. She then excused herself to the kitchen to get another bottle and some glasses for them. When she came back the vampire was bundled up in the blanket Lapis left her.

She poured their glasses and sat in front of the fire place again. Then she proceeded to tell Pearl about everything that happened after she’d fled that night. About understanding, so there was no need to apologize. About Steven, and everything he learned to do in this impossibly long year and how much she loves him. That Pearl will too.

That giving him away has affected her in ways she didn’t think it would. About everything that happened with Amethyst and how she hasn’t seen the werewolf since. How she missed her. That she doesn’t deserve to miss any of them because she just hurts them.

Pearl apologized anyways. She explained that the thought of seeing Steven makes her feel sick and afraid. She didn't think he could see him knowing that she still resented him in a way, and she felt guilty for what she had asked Lapis to do. She was sorry for getting Lapis involved, saying the witch wouldn’t be hurt if she could have gotten a grip.

They drank a lot more and leaned up against each other in front of the fire. Their blanket covered their shoulders and hung down their backs. Pearl kissed the witch and finally spoke again.

“You don’t hurt us. We hurt ourselves. We use you. And you’re fine with it so you won’t be alone because you’re using us too. I know you care, Lapis. I know.. I know I can’t be your true love, but would you please let me stay by your side once again? I can’t bare being alone right now. I miss her so much.”

“I’m no Rose either, Pearl. Why would I say no? I told you when you left that I’m still here for you. I meant it.” Lapis murmured, sipping her drink as the vampire curled around her.

The witch felt everything snap back into place as the vampire peppered her face with kisses.

This vicious cycle of love had started again. She felt her pain lessen as the hole in her heart was momentarily bandaged.


	4. Stranger Visions

**"Are you ready?"**

**"Yes!" the blue witch exclaimed, shooting her partner a bright grin, "I can't wait!"**

**"It's going to be a bit of a drain, are you sure you're prepared?"**

**"Stop worrying! I know it'll be taxing but I want this. To create something like this with you. I raised perfect gourds for months for this so we could pick the best one." the blue witch stated, grabbing the other witch's hands firmly, "Do you not want this? Is that what this is about? We don't have to-"**

**"No, no! Of course that's not it. I'm just worried about you. Your.. condition is a concern. I just don't want anything to happen to you."**

**"Oh stop it! I'm not at risk just because I'm more of an abomination than any other witch in the coven." the blue witch rolled her eyes, "Besides, it'll be good if something could impede my work, right? Then maybe the white witches will stop being to mad about how I vastly surpass them in talent."**

**"Stop saying you're an abomination. Those teachings are wrong. You know that. We are getting so off track Lapis. This was supposed to be a happy, special thing."**

**"Any time we spend time together is special and happy. You're my favorite witch in the whole coven. Let's just concentrate on her, she's going to be perfect and strong." the blue witch mused, closing her eyes to help her concentrate.**

**"She's going to be smart, and pretty like you."**

**The blue witch's cheeks lit up and they started the incantation.**

\----------------------------------------

_“A blue witch? Never seen one.”_

_“Blue witch… why does that sound so… familiar?”_

_“Get out and stop this line of questioning at once. I don’t care how powerful you say you are. Only blue witch ever spoken of in these lands was a menace.”_

_“Blue witch? My grandmother used to tell us scary tales about her to make us afraid of witches. You know how the older folks can be.”_

_“My family passed her story down for generations… hundreds of generations, actually. It's one of those tales that gets so old that it's hard to believe it to be true.”_

_“It might not be correct anymore, but the tale was of a blue wicked witch. She would rampage from town to town destroying everything. Then all of a sudden she disappeared. When she came back years later she caught wind of the villagers preparing a sacrifice. She went wild. Destroyed everything and even took the girl. She swore that if they wanted to continue with sacrifices then she would obliterate the whole country. Everyone believed her and the sacrifices ceased. No one ever saw the girl she took again either. Spooky stuff.”_

_“Who knows, though? Could just be an old tale, made up to scare us or teach us a lesson or something.”_

The witch stormed away, fists balled up. Insolent humans! They died out too fast to get any useful information from! And the information that they did have sounded nothing like the witch buried in her memories. She stomped out of the town and into the forest, the flora dying under her steps.

It was no use. The old witch was probably dead. Not many witches live as long as the villagers estimate the last time she was around. Most of them get taken down by other witches. Fear of vast power was strong in witch community.

She burst from that disgusting womb a hundred years ago, fragments of memories from her past life burned into her mind the second she could get a breath in. Her teacher told her it was important. That witches don’t usually come back with memories. That it could be special or something.

What did that old bitty know about anything?! It was pointless. She’d scoured half the continent after her training was finished and still nothing.

No one had run into the blue witch that haunted her, not for thousands of years!

How was she possibly supposed to find her? It had taken her this long just looking for her. Was she willing to give up even more of her time for a potentially long dead witch?

She groaned, burrowing her face into her hands.

Yeah. She would.

She wasn’t a very strong witch. She couldn’t do any of the impressive or difficult spells she tried. What was the use in being a witch if she couldn’t be a good one? It made her safe from other witch's wrath, but it didn't make her happy.

These memories of this stranger that she could barely even make out were the only important thing that she had. So she would search for as long as it took.

Even if she was chasing a ghost.


	5. Peering Eyes

_"She's going to be smart, and pretty like you."_

_Lapis could feel her cheeks burning as they started the incantation._

_When they finished the spell she opened her eyes to see their perfect little pixie. She hair was long and white. Her iris' a brilliant orange with a green pupil in the center. Her skin was the warm brown color of the pumpkin's healthy root._

_Lapis gasped, reaching out to touch their creation. But as soon as the witch touched her the pixie disappeared._

_"N-No.. Peridot what's wrong? What did I do wrong?!" she cried, a sharp pain ringing in her head. She looked over to where her partner sat and she was gone too._

_Lapis raced out the door only to be caught and held down by her friends. Sapphire was apologizing, Ruby wouldn't look at her. Lapis looked out in the field to see Peridot tied up, standing in front of a pyre, flowers adorning her hair. The beautiful sight of a sacrifice._

_"NO! Peridot! Please don't! Please! I'll do anything!" Lapis screamed, tears streaming down her face. It began to rain but nothing could put out that fire._

_"Bring her closer! As an abomination created from suffering I'm sure she'll feel right at home!" a voice called forward._

_Sapphire and Ruby brought her forth reluctantly, witches chanting around them. A spell to keep Lapis from being able to use any magic._

_"A-Alexandrite please! N-Not Peridot! I-I'll take her place! I'll do anything!" the blue witch shrieked, head spinning._

_"Pathetic. It was going to be you. She's taking your place. I have to admit it Lapis Lazuli, I never enjoyed having you around. Your magic and life is a disgrace for all white witches. You're a snake in the grass that hypnotized poor Peridot from the moment you appeared. I will enjoy watching you suffer." Alexandrite mused, lifting up the blade._

_"Lapis.." Peridot murmured, "I'm so so-"_

\-----------------------------------------

Lapis shot up in bed, gasping and looking around the room quickly. A dream. It was a nightmare. Pearl was there, eyes glowing and golden.

"I'm sorry I couldn't stop your nightmare. You were screaming and I thought I could try to stop it if I-"

"You saw it." Lapis muttered, refusing to look at the vampire.

"Yes.. Was that her? The woman you love?" Pearl couldn't help but ask. She had to know.

"You should have never peered into my mind. I never blocked it from you because I believed I could trust you!" Lapis snapped, "Do not ever talk about her. She is mine. How dare you violate my memories of her."

"Lapis I'm sorry! I wasn't trying to make you upset I just wanted to help. You looked so miserable and I thought I could just change the dream to make it better! It's just that.. when I saw it I couldn't stop looking I just.."

"Got caught up in my tragedy? Wanted a front row seat?" Lapis mused, finally looking at Pearl. There was a twisted grin on her face, an unhinged look in her eyes. 

"Was it everything you dreamed of and more? Is this what you wanted to see?! It's never enough is it?! I take you in, I'm kind, I'm respectful and caring! But you all always want more don't you?! I protect you from it all and this is the thanks I get! You peering into my mind while I'm vulnerable!"

"N-No! I just want to know more about you! I didn't think that your dream would turn into that and it all just happened so fast!" Pearl objected, reaching out to grab the witch's shoulders.

Lapis slapped the vampire's hands away swiftly, standing up from the bed. She grabbed her broom and began to leave.

Pearl shot up swiftly, wrapping her arms around the witch to stop her, "No! No Lapis, please! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! Going out like this won't help you! What do you want me to do?! I'll do whatever you want me to do just please don't leave! Please don't hate me!"

Lapis looked back at her, "Let me take this ugly memory away from you."

"Y-You can do that?" Pearl stammered, looking unsure.

"It's my memory. You should have never seen it and you obtained it by using the small amount of magic that vampire's wield. Magic gave it to you and magic can take it away." Lapis muttered, "But you have to let me. The mind is tricky with magic."

"Okay.." Pearl agreed, letting Lapis lead her into the kitchen. They sat at the table and Lapis pricked her fingertip with a knife, smearing the blood on Pearl's forehead.

"It will hurt. Are you ready?" Lapis asked. 

Pearl nodded her head slowly. The vampire didn't want to lose these memories. It was the most sincere and true she had ever seen the witch. But she meddled in something you never should have. Lapis was right. The memories weren't her's to know.

Lapis set her palm over the blood and began the spell. Pearl could feel an aching in her head, faint all up until the witch most have found the memory. Then she screamed as it felt like Lapis was all but pulling out a chunk of her mind.

"It's done." Lapis stated, "Do you want something to drink?"

"I can still remember it.. You looked so.." Pearl whispered, trying to find the words.

"Different? Yes, I was very different." the witch muttered, pouring them both of glass of whiskey.

"Why did you let me keep this memory?" Pearl asked, confusion written all over her face.

"Because you wanted to see it. I just took out the part that mattered to me. You won't remember what she looks like or sounds like. That is.. mine. I won't let you have that part." Lapis replied, "But I figured if you want to know I part of my past that badly then I'd let you see a part of me."

"Thank you." Pearl reached out to grab Lapis' hand, but the witch pulled away.

"I'm sorry. I just can't be close to you tonight."


	6. Powerful Witch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I mostly just really wanted to write out some nice little memories between Lapis and Peridot because I think it's super cute. I hope you guys like it!

_Around 8,000 years ago_

"Day 365, the specimen has still not starved to death. A lack of water doesn't seem to effect her either. There can truly be nothing good about such a monster. I had wanted to observe her further, but the higher authority is here to take her to an isolated land for further investigation."

Lapis' eye darted back and forth, finding it hard to concentrate. Had it been that long? Everything had been so confusing.

"I'm here. Get her- What the... What have you done to her?!"

The blue witch could hear the shrieks though she couldn't yet see where they came from.

"It's common procedure with all beasts! She's not like the rest of us!"

Lapis heard quite the argument before she finally saw the most familiar face of all. Green and displeased, the blue witch watched as her shackles were removed one by one.

The green witch wrapped her arms around Lapis and she choked back a sob.

"It's okay, don't worry. I'm sorry it took so long to convince them to let me take care of you." the green witch muttered, holding onto the younger witch tightly, "I will never let this happen to you again."

Lapis nodded her head swiftly, watching as the green witch's eyes turned black and everything around them disappeared. A moment later their scenery was entirely different.

"How..." the blue witch whispered, a chill going up her spine.

"It's magic. One of my specialties. Teleportation." the green witch responded, "I can feel your bones. It's disgusting. Let's get you some food."

She set Lapis down on a chair. The blue witch collapsed back into it immediately. Every movement seemed to radiate pain. She quickly grabbed the food offered to her and devoured it. She couldn't stop the tears from flowing as she did so.

So far all this life had been was painful. There was a constant pain in her chest that refused to stop, only getting worse the longer they kept her from a source of energy.

"You won't always need to eat, but you're on such a deficit now that you need to consume energy directly." the green witch explained, "I'm so sorry Lapis. It took me so long to convince them that I could control you."

"Control.." the blue witch murmured, looking up and searching the eyes of the strong witch before her.

"Yes, that's right. I needed to convince them that I could control you. I won't, I swear. Not that it would be difficult. Those old bats are so ignorant. You may be powerful, but you don't know how to use any of that strength. Just like any other fresh witch." 

"Why not then? If it would be so easy.." Lapis murmured. She felt the pain in her body cease and she felt strong once again. Just like she was when she originally came to be. When the green witch had found her.

"Because, Lapis Lazuli, I am not like them. I don't need to control you, because you will always do exactly what I want as long as I live." the older witch mused.

"Because I'm going to be your bride?" the blue witch deadpanned before she started chugging a bunch of water.

"So you do remember what we talked about."

"It was confusing. But I've had a whole rotation to think about it. The thing is, I still don't understand why. It all sounds very.. involved. And I'm clearly some sort of abomination." Lapis mumbled, grabbing some bread.

"You are not an abomination!" the green witch snapped, causing the younger woman to flinch, "I.. I'm sorry. You're not an abomination, Lapis. You're strong. And the whole affair is very involved. As for the why.. I just knew. I saw you and I knew. I'm sorry, I'm not very good at this. I have never been so concerned with such trivial matters."

"You don't make any sense. Peridot, right?" 

"Right."

"Okay, I don't understand much. I've spent the past year after you found me in what I can only describe to be a torture chamber. You certainly are dashing, with your face and all the heroics. But I don't know you, Peridot. And I definitely don't trust you. So I really don't think being your bride is in my best interests." Lapis sighed, watching as the bruising on her wrists started to vanish.

"That.. Well, I could argue my case. The rest of the witch's will better tolerate you if you were bond to someone of my status, and you would never be put back in there. I offer a lot of security. And benefits as well! I could give you almost anything you could desire. I would be in my rights to kill most everyone who had hurt you if you became my bride, if that's what you want. I'm a very accomplished witch and I can teach you everything I know." Peridot rattled off her reasoning, but then shrugged, "But none of that matters if what you want is trust. That comes with time, but it might not be in your best interests to wait."

"And if I wanted to wait?" Lapis questioned, shrinking back into the chair the green witch had set her in.

"I'll wait. I'll show you that you can trust me."

The blue witch frowned, standing up tentatively. She wandered around the room a bit. It was giant and there was a lot of open space. Not really something she'd ever been able to appreciate before. There were paintings on the walls and a large window. Lapis stopped in front of the window, gazing out the glass at the land beneath. She could see grass and the sky. There was a pond outside with ducks and ducklings around it.

Then it started to rain. Peridot stood up, walking over to the blue witch slowly. It shouldn't be raining. It was the middle of summer, but she understood once she saw Lapis' face. The blue witch's face was scrunched up and tears were streaming down her face.

"Why and how are you doing that?" the older witch asked.

"What? Crying? You've never cried before?" Lapis muttered, glaring at Peridot.

"No, no. Well, I never have, but that's not what I'm talking about. I was referring to the rain. I can feel the magic and it's tethered to you. You're doing this. How? Why?"

"I didn't think I was.. I wasn't trying to. I just saw the outside world and it just made me so sad to think that the last time I saw it was when you found me."

"You.. Just your emotions are causing this? It's not intentional? But it's.. You're incredible." Peridot stated, completely in awe of the woman beside her, "I knew that I had impeccable taste. I guess it's natural that extended to love interests as well. You're strong, Lapis Lazuli. Strong in a way I have never seen before myself."

"Great. Another reason for them to try to imprison me again."

"I won't let them. As long as I'm alive I won't let them lay a hand on you again. Though it would be a lot easier to do that if you would marry me."

Annoyance was written all over Lapis' face, but Peridot just smiled. The blue witch turned to face her counterpart, reaching up to touch her cheek.

"You're the only person that will touch me or willingly be around me." Lapis muttered.

"They're afraid of you. It's part of being powerful. You'll have to face that everywhere you go. You'll have to prove to them that while you could destroy them you never would."

"You're not afraid of me?"

"I don't think I would be so drawn to you if there was something for me to fear."

Lapis sighed again, looking away from her suitor in favor of looking around the room again. The place Peridot had brought her was made of stone. It was cold on her bare feet, causing her to shiver slightly. The green witch took note, taking off her robe and placing it around the younger witch's shoulders.

"We should probably get the changed into some more suitable clothes. Sapphire could help you with that and getting cleaned up." Peridot said, leading the other witch down the hallway to a different part of the castle.

"Sapphire? There are other witches here?" Lapis asked, expression increasingly wary.

"Don't worry about Sapphire. Or Ruby. They are the only ones here with us along with their pixie, Garnet."

"Pixie?"

"Yes, she's very polite though, so do not worry."

Peridot opened a door to reveal a large room. There was a large fireplace that was in full use currently. A large bed with several blankets. There were a bunch of curtains, alluding to the presence of windows. There was a vanity, along with a dresser and closet. 

And finally there were two beings sitting on a carpet in front of the fire. A witch with light blue hair, accompanied by what appeared to be a small toddler with a brilliant pair of pink wings. Lapis supposed that was the pixie. Witch's were always fully grown and the wings didn't allow for it to be human.

"This is her?" Sapphire asked, standing up to greet their company, "I didn't expect her to look so.. docile."

Lapis scowled, "Well apparently the powers that be decided not to make me look like the monster I am assured to be."

"That's not what I meant young lady." Sapphire retorted, shaking her head slowly.

"Ahem, Sapphire could you see to it that Lapis gets cleaned up and given more appropriate clothes?" Peridot interjected.

"Too bashful to be around your wife naked yet? Well I suppose that's fine. I was going to give Garnet a bath anyways." Sapphire mused.

Peridot's face lit up, "N-No! It's just that.. I have a few tasks! Lapis, I will see you later."

Lapis watched as she quickly fled, shaking her head.

"I'm not her wife." she corrected.

"Oh no? Not yet?" Sapphire countered, "Well, no worries. I'm sure she'll convince you soon enough. Let's go to the bathroom. You know how to wash yourself right?"

"Yes, of course.." Lapis mumbled, following the witch and pixie to another room, "Peridot has already been plenty compelling.. I just.. I don't understand her and we don't know each other. What she explained seems to be a very involved relationship and not something for.. strangers."

"That's true and it is very involved. But when you know, you just know. She seems very convinced that it's what's right. Though, she won't let me look into your futures yet."

"The future?"

"It's my specialty."

Lapis and Sapphire chatted as they got ready, and when they were done they went back to the room Lapis met her in the continue their talk by the fire. Sapphire seemed to have a lot of interesting things to say to Lapis, though she kept peppering Peridot into the conversation.

"She really worthy of your trust. She was doing everything she could to get you out of that awful prison." Sapphire sighed, "She wouldn't stop arguing with the rest of the high council about it. She was obsessed with getting all of the reports of what was going on with you even if it just made her angry. That's probably why she's so concerned with getting you to marry her. It would be impossible for the council to send you back. It would be like officially declaring war with Peridot, and they don't want that."

"Why is that?"

"Peridot is a bad enemy to have. Lapis, please take her seriously. Try to get to know her. For both of your sake."

Lapis just nodded solemnly.

\---------------------------------------

"RUBY! RUBY I NEED THOSE DOCUMENTS! RU- O-oh.." Peridot stopped yelling abruptly.

Lapis had walked into the room with her paperwork. The blue witch appeared to be amused by the older witch's surprised face. She was wearing a long green robe, but no shoes. 

"Lapis Lazuli, what are you doing here?" the green witch asked, attempting to sound normal though her smile was so big it gave away her excitement.

"I thought I could help you with whatever it is you're doing, and give Ruby a break from assisting you. We're supposed to spend time together and get to know each other anyways, remember?" Lapis mused, setting the scrolls down on Peridot's desk.

"O-Of course I remember! I just.. I've been really busy. The council is trying to get me to negotiate returning you to them and I'm trying to go over everything again and make absolutely sure they have no ground to stand on. I would love to spend some time with you."

"I see. All the fuss is over me? Should I be worried?" Lapis asked, setting her hands on Peridot's shoulders.

"N-No! I worked all year on an airtight solution for this I'm just.. concerned that I didn't do well enough. That's probably why Ruby sent you in here, huh? To get me to stop panicking." Peridot sighed, relaxing in response to the blue witch's sudden touch.

"So this is what you do all the time, huh? Negotiations because you're part of the council?" Lapis questioned.

"Oh no! Well, yes, in this past year but never before that! I've never had any interference with my fellow council members until... Well, don't worry about that. I have always spent a majority of my time perfecting my magic and obtaining a fortune." Peridot explained.

"So you like to gain power. Is that why you're so interested in me?" Lapis sat down on the floor next to the green witch's chair and leaned against it, "Am I to be part of your collection?"

"No! Well, yes but- Lapis I.." Peridot sputtered before letting out a large sigh and setting a hand on Lapis' head, "No, Lapis. I am interested in you for several reasons. You are powerful, and I do like that as well. But you are not a trinket and I have several reasons for wanting you around. Some that are just as superficial. Like your beauty."

Lapis blushed and sat there silently as Peridot ran her hand through her hair. She then continued to sit there for hours while Peridot went through all the paperwork until the sun went down. The blue witch was beginning to notice all the little mannerisms that Peridot had that gave away her mood.

The green witch's legs would bounce with excitement if everything was good, and the moments when she became concerned her eyes would twitch a bit. But then there were moments were all the life would appear to leave her eye's and Lapis could not for the life of her figure out what that meant.

"Why do you look like that?" she finally spoke up, "What are you reading about right now?"

"This is... These are the records of you time imprisoned. This particular passage is about how they broke every bone in your body and how long it took you to heal." Peridot muttered, pushing the paperwork away, "When I read about how you suffered my heart feels like it's being compressed and my mind runs wild with every violent action I could have taken. Every violent action I could still take. But I don't want to do something and had it effect you negatively. Not being able to do something drives me crazy so I sit in here and piece together everything I can so I can have the people that hurt you executed. All this does is keep me trapped in here, though. Away from you."

"Peridot..." Lapis murmured, standing up and wrapping her arms around the older witch, "Why do you care so much?"

"I don't know.." Peridot responded, rising to her feet. She looked Lapis dead in her eyes and grabbed her by the shoulders, "I have no other explanation other than that I must love you."

Lapis' eyes widened as she felt lips colliding with her's. She closed her eyes and let herself melt into her very first kiss.

\---------------------------------------------

Lapis was grinning as she and Ruby brought lunch out to everyone, heart racing as she saw Peridot talking to Garnet about something that must have been silly since the pixie started giggling. The blue witch set the food down and went to sit next to Peridot, placing a small kiss on top of the blond's head.

"You two seem to be getting along lately." Sapphire mused, cutting up Garnet's meal for her.

"I've taken a liking to her." Lapis admitted, watching Sapphire pass the pixie her food, "How was Garnet created again?"

"Ah.. Garnet was made from a grape vine and a combination of mine and Ruby's magic. When witches are close enough to create a magical wavelength between the two of them it can create wonderful things, one of those things being pixies." Sapphire replied, beaming with pride as she watched Garnet eat.

"Why do you ask?" Ruby questioned, "You can't have her as that's what you're after."

"No! Of course not!" Lapis objected, "I was actually sort of thinking that I might want a pixie of my own one day."

Peridot immediately began choking on her food, trying to cough it up as Lapis patted her back and everyone laughed at her.

\---------------------------------------------

"S-So a pixie huh?" Peridot had managed to bring it up a few days later, looking almost as embarrassed as when Lapis brought it up.

"I was thinking about it, a bit. Maybe one day in the future. You never know right? I was a bit curious about what sort of pixie you and I could create is all." Lapis mused, shrugging it off. She was in the middle of cleaning her room when Peridot had wondered in to talk.

"A pixie is a very... intimate thing between witches you know.. It's pretty serious." Peridot mumbled, looking away from the blue witch with a sad expression on her face.

Lapis scowled, walking into Peridot's line of sight, "You said you love me, right?! You told me you want me to be your bride!"

"Yes! I did! I do! To both of those things!" Peridot insisted, looking rather worried.

"Then why would I not consider that as well? If you're going to be any wife of mine then I want it to be known that a pixie could be something I might want." Lapis muttered, "Unless you don't want to be my wife anymore."

"Ah! No, Lapis, of course I do!" Peridot all but screamed, grabbing Lapis' hands, "I would marry you right this second if you wanted to!"

That seemed to do the trick as it wiped the scowl off of Lazuli's face. The blue witch pulled Peridot closer to her and began kissing different parts of her face.

"Good. Because I really think I'm falling for you Peridot."


	7. Helping Hands

"Skinny, Carnelian... Lapis? Oh shit, Lapis.." Amethyst murmured, rushing towards her friend.

The witch was an absolute mess. Her hair had grown long and tangled, dragging along the floor as she staggered forward, untied boots on her feet. She had giant, dark bags under her eyes. She looked absolutely terrified. The two werewolves behind her were gripping her elbows tightly, disgust written all over their faces. When Amethyst got close enough they dropped the blue witch and she collapsed at her friend's feet.

"She was wandering around in the fields. Filthy witch. You know her?" Carnelian muttered, hoping the answer would be a very firm no.

"Yes, this is Lapis Lazuli.." Amethyst replied, kneeling down to the witch's level. She ignored her pack members as they rolled their eyes and huffed before they left. There was nothing they could do about their leader's decisions. Werewolves had a long standing hatred for witches for several reasons, the most important one being that it was a witch that caused their curse.

"Lapis.. What happened to you?" the werewolf asked, looking down at her crumpled up friend.

“I keep hearing voices. At first they were just faint. B-But they keep getting louder.. Eventually I could hear them muttering about the blue witch. Angry over something to do with me.” Lapis croaked, hands shaking, “But the voice.. She should be long dead, Amethyst. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat or even think. Ever since I started hearing her voice all I can do is remember her death. It’s all I can see when I dream. I wake up screaming. I think I’m losing my mind again.”

Amethyst frowned, pulling the witch into her arms. Lapis felt cold to the touch. Nothing about Amethyst’s former lover seemed normal.

“I’m scared of what I could do to this world again.” Lapis cried, grabbing the werewolf tightly.

No, nothing about her was normal. Lapis would never show up this messed up looking.

She would never miss out on sleep. She never felt cold. She never seemed like she was seeing ghosts everywhere she looked. Lapis, the most delicate person she knew would never grab her so hard that it would leave bruises.

“I’m sure your mind is playing tricks on you. Maybe it’s just.. how long have you been alone? And you haven’t been getting sleep... That can’t be helping with this paranoia. Let’s just get you back home. We will get you some rest. And I’ll be right there in case anything happens.”

The witch didn’t look very convinced, but allowed Amethyst to lead her back to her home. The werewolf drew a bath for her as soon as they got there.

"Pearl.. she's gone. I couldn't.. We couldn't trust each other anymore. I started feeling.. strange. I thought that if I concentrated on getting better by myself I could fix it. But it's been ten years and it's just getting worse." the blue witch muttered.

She sat there outside the bathroom door as Lapis bathed herself. The werewolf didn't know what to say. She waited for the witch to get dry and put on some clothes.

She brushed out the witch’s long hair, freeing it of all the tangles while Lapis whispered things under her breath a million miles a second. Eventually Amethyst got her to lay down, and the werewolf held her hand until she fell asleep.

She woke up screaming not three hours later, tears falling down her face. It was flooding outside. Amethyst held her while she shrieked until her vocal cords silenced her out of exhaustion.

Amethyst didn't know what to do, but she knew for sure that she wasn't going to let Lapis lose her mind. The witch seemed so afraid. The werewolf couldn't understand what could possibly be going on that could scare a witch as strong as Lapis. The secret seemed to be rooted from her past, but Amethyst didn't know anything about it.

\-------------------------------

Almost a year had passed since Lapis had showed up at Amethyst's home broken down. Things seemed to be a bit better. The witch never seemed like herself after that day, but she seemed to have more of a grasp on reality. The werewolf made a point to go visit her once a week, and Sapphire and Rudy brought Steven to visit her often. 

Even Pearl made it by every once in a while, not that it seemed to help too much. She and Lapis had tense conversation over drinks and glared at each other. No one had been able to figure out what happened between the two.

Steven seemed to make the biggest difference. When Steven was around Lapis slept better, had episodes less often, and even smiled. When he had first come to visit her Lapis seemed very nervous. They made cookies and Lapis fidgeted as Steven asked her rapid fire questions. She answered each of them carefully and quietly. Steven showed her how to play games, and they drew animals in the sand with sticks outside.

At the end of the day Steven presented to her a box of letters.

"They're responses to all the letters you always sent. I'm sorry I didn't respond. I guess I was scared of what you would think of me." he mumbled, looking down at the ground.

Lapis' eyes widened, and she pulled the boy into a tight hug.

"Me too. I was scared too."


	8. Stranger Encounter

"Lapis, are you okay?" 

The witch gasped as Steven reached out to grab her hand.

"Y-Yeah sorry... Where were we?" Lapis asked, looking around to take in her surroundings. They were in her garden. Oh, that's right. They were planting vegetables.

"We were just about to plant the seeds. Are you hearing the voices again?" Steven asked. He looked worried. He always looked worried when she got like this. She felt bad that he had to treat her like she was so fragile.

"Y-Yeah.. I'm sorry. I think I'm just having a bad day." the witch admitted, setting down the small shovel in her hand and pulling on her hair a bit in frustration.

"It's okay. Lapis.. what do they say to you?"

"T-They.. She says different things... S-Sometimes it's like.. Maybe she's not talking to me.. Just about me. A-Asking people where I am. Sometimes she's just yelling about me, calling me a blue witch. She never uses my name. O-Other times she's crying.." Lapis stammered, resting her face in her hands.

"Why's she crying?"

"I.. I don't know. I know she's not really there, but when she cries I just feel so helpless. It's so silly. I feel like it's all my fault. She never cried until she met me." Lapis mumbled, words slightly muffled by her hands.

Steven looked up at the sky as he noticed the light fading. Clouds were coming into view, and it started sprinkling.

"Lapis, let's go inside and rest."

"O-Okay." the witch stood up, wiping at her eyes with her sleeves. They went inside and she made them some tea to go with their lunch.

"Connie says she wants to meet you, too. She thinks you sound 'fascinating'." Steven mused, "I told her about how you can make the plants grow better and how you help the fishermen by calming the ocean."

"You can't just tell people the good stuff, Steven. They'll be sorely disappointed by the truth." Lapis laughed, "'Fascinating', huh? But she must think Ruby and Sapphire are fascinating too."

"She did at first. But now she thinks they're pretty normal because they're just like her parents. Because they always take everything so seriously and work a lot."

"They have a lot on their plate. They worked hard to negotiate peace with your village and the surrounding covens. I'm sure it's not easy."

"Why don't you ever do stuff like that?" the boy asked, finishing his sandwich.

"There aren't any other witches in the surrounding area. The people here used to be afraid of me, but they got used to me being around after I while. They'd get sick and some were brave enough to ask for help so they helped bridge a bond between us. Now they depend on me every now and then. I picked this place because it was easy to settle down here. Ruby and Sapphire choose your village because it reminds them of our home a bit." Lapis explained, "Because of all that I have the free time to do whatever I want."

Steven nodded his head dutifully. They sat there in silence for a moment while they finished their food. It was so good he almost didn't notice that the witch had zoned out again. Her eyes were blank and she seemed so far away.

"Lapis, maybe you should rest a bit."

"Wha.. What? Oh.. okay." she murmured, standing up slowly.

Steven followed her to her room. She took her hair out of the bun she had it in and laid down. She fell asleep as the boy told her all the weird stories he made up with Connie.

 

\--------------------------------------

“Poorly crafted ship crashed into an island. Outrageous.” The young witch sighed, wandering around the large island. The humans seemed to be thriving, at least.

They also didn’t seem to be phased by her strange clothing or her broomstick. In fact, they would look at her and wave.

“Are you going to see our witch?”

She turned around to see a man standing there with a few children. He was carrying a basket filled with vegetables and a few fruits. He saw the confused look on her face and began to elaborate.

“Lapis Lazuli. She's blue."

“Yes! Yes I am! I seem to have gotten lost though.” She spat out quickly.

“Oh, well she lives a few miles away, south of here. It’s a little house on a hill. You won’t miss it, she’s the only one that lives there. Could you take this basket to her?” His children were staring up at her, excitement and wonder in their eyes.

“Of course I can! Goodbye, humans!”

They watched if she took off on her broom in a flash. They chattered about how she must be very excited. She had such a large grin they thought her lips could split at any second. She flew there at such high speed she nearly passed right by it. It didn’t help that her mind was racing. She stopped her broom at the bottom of the hill.

Her palms were sweating and her heart was beating so hard. What is this sensation? She supposed it was what the humans called ‘anxiety’.

She never thought she would feel this way when she found the blue witch. She’d spent so long trying. There were no way she was going to let this ‘anxiety’ make her back down.

She trudged up the hill, and raised a shaky fist to the door, knocking on it hard. The door opened slowly, revealing a human boy.

“Hello! Who are you?” he asked, a bright smile on his face.

“I’m umm.. it’s not important.” She coughed, looking behind him, “Is Lapis Lazuli here? The blue witch.”

“Yeah! You must be one of her friends! My name is Steven! Come on inside. Lapis fell asleep. I’m trying to braid her hair but I don’t know how to. Could you help me?” he chattered, leading her inside.

She nodded her head at the boy and he jumped up and down, saying something about how Lapis would love it when she woke up, tip toeing into a room. She followed his lead, entering the room quietly.

She gasped when she caught sight of the blue witch. Lapis was lying down on the bed, body curled up, long hair hanging off the side of the bed pooled up on the floor. She was wearing a short white dress, lace patterned to look like ivy. The same fabric adorned her hands, ankles and neck, attached by simple white buttons.

The only thing that disrupted this perfect being’s appearance were dark circles under her eyes.

The young witch had never seen anyone so beautiful before and she couldn’t help herself. She tried to stop, but there was just this force pulling her closer to the slumbering witch.

She reached out and brushed her fingers across the blue witch’s jaw.

And in that instant the witch’s eyes shot open and a blood curdling scream came out of her mouth. Lapis backed herself into the corner of her bed, tears pouring down her face.

Steven rushed forward and hugged the witch tightly, telling her everything was okay. That her nightmares weren’t there anymore.

But they were. She was standing right there, a confused look all over her green face.

“Peridot please stop haunting me! I’m afraid I’m going to lose my mind again!” Lapis cried, 

“Lapis that’s your guest. She’s your friend isn’t she?” Steven asked, looking up at the blue witch.

“How do you know my name?” the green witch asked, leaning forward.

“Steven, you can see her?” Lapis asked, not taking her eyes off of what she was sure to be a hallucination.

“Yeah, she just got here asking for you.” Steven replied, looking a little worried now.

Lapis slowly got off the bed. She stood, and started to walk over to Peridot. She was shaking, but she had to touch her. If she could touch her then Lapis would know she was not going mad.

She reached out her hand and it was met by a shaky green one. Lapis gasped and then wrapped her arms around Peridot, holding her tightly.

“When were you born?”

“Five hundred years ago. How do you know me?"

"It's a really long story."


	9. Lost Connections

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while for this fanfic. Sorry about that! I need to go through it again and fix a bunch of typos, but I figured I could update it first.

"You don't remember me." Lapis stated simply.

Steven had gone off to play in the village. Peridot had stared in awe when Lapis created an elaborate protection spell for him before he left. She'd never seen magic like that before, and it had dawned on her that she was possibly not in the safest place stranded on an island with an immensely powerful witch.

Regardless of whether it was safe on not she couldn't bring herself to leave. She'd worked so hard to get here, and had searched tirelessly. She wouldn't leave without getting something out of this journey.

"No, I remember some things.. vaguely. It's all very shrouded, and it's not a lot. But I know that I know you! Or knew you, I guess." the green witch explained, gesturing erratically before Lapis gestured for them to sit at the table in her kitchen.

The blue witch cracked open a bottle of scotch, pouring both of them a glass even though Peridot was eyeing it like it was the devil's spit.

"Where to start.." Lapis pondered, sighing, "Well.. What do you want to know?"

"Everything. I've been looking for you for a long time and I'm just.. really confused. I was told by my mentor that witches typically don't have memories of their past lives, and that I should think of it as the most important thing I have since I'm not very strong." Peridot responded, "I will say that I'd like to know that you're not going to strike me down or something if I anger you because.. you easily could. I don't know how you're containing your magical signature to your body alone, but it is overwhelming."

"I will definitely not kill you." Lapis chuckled, taking a swig out of her glass, "Memories are retained rarely, by witches that have unfinished business. You think you're weak? By any chance, are you being mentored by someone from the council of white witches?"

"I know I'm weak. And yeah.. Why?" the green witch asked slowly.

"Because you're not weak. They just want you to think you are. They want all dark witches to think they're weak." Lapis responded, rolling her eyes, "But you aren't weak. Sure, you're inexperienced and your power is dormant, but you're far from powerless. Tell me the truth. What do you see when you look in the mirror?"

Peridot's eyes widened. She could feel her palms sweating and her heart beating faster. The blue witch knew her secret. The only magic she had, but never spoke about.

"I see.. all sorts of things." the green witch admitted, looking away.

"You were smart not to tell anyone. Do you know what they do to witches they can't control? Witches that can't control themselves?" Lapis asked, scowling with Peridot nodded right away, "Shapeshifting. It was how you got away with everything, from the very beginning. You were absolutely cunning."

"You said my power was dormant? How is that?" Peridot asked, taking a sip of her drink and hissing at the taste.

"Magic can lay dormant in many ways.. but your's is tied to your memories. If you remembered everything you would be at full strength. I don't advise it, though." Lapis cautioned, taking another gulp out of her glass.

"But if I could be powerful then I wouldn't have to worry about anything! I wouldn't have to rely on anyone! I could practice my magic! I could perfect it!" Peridot rationalized, getting herself all fired up.

"Peridot, you did not have the easiest life. You struggled for power your whole existence, and that brings on a lot of enemies, battles, even wars. You had a particularly gruesome death. Your magic is tying itself around those memories, holding onto them for you so you don't have to bare the weight of them. It's trying to give you peace." Lapis explained, "You can accept that and move on. You can stay here if you want, and work with the magic you have. I can protect you. You can live your life easily."

"No! It doesn't matter! The pain, the past... I can handle it! I have to! Because I can feel this burning in my chest, and this unquenchable need for power. I don't know what it's for, but knowing my power is there and giving it up to live simply would kill me! I know that there is something I am supposed to do and I need that power in order to do it! I spent my whole life thinking that chasing after you was the only goal of mine that I could obtain! Now that I know it's not I can't just ignore everything else!" Peridot shouted, jumping to her feet during her monologue.

The blue witch looked up at her, shock written all over her face before being replaced with a smile.

"Greedy. You're definitely her. Alright, I'll help you." Lapis mused, "Okay we are going to need owl feathers that were left naturally and scorched earth struck by lighting. Follow me."

Peridot was puzzled by the older witch's words, but decided not to question it once she offered to help. Especially not since she knew it was likely she was about to witness some impressive spell casting. She let Lapis lead her behind the small home, and the blue witch opened a hatch in the ground with what appeared to be stairs carved into the ground under it.

Lapis cast a quick spell to light all the torches and they quickly descended the stairs. Peridot gasped, taking in the sight before her. Thousands of specimen, cursed objects, and magical relics filled this warehouse sized underground. She had never seen anything like this before.

"When you're as old as I am, you get to collecting. Then when your house is too small to be littered with objects and you're too paranoid due to said old age you decided to horde it all in a place people wouldn't necessary think about. As one does." Lapis stated, chuckling at the expression on the green witch's face, "I should have those objects I was talking about in my section on the mind, please wait. You could look around if you like."

Peridot took her up on her offer, looking through a few items as the older witch sauntered off to find the necessary ingredients. While she looked through everything she thought about her new acquiescence a bit more. The green witch believed Lapis Lazuli had to be absolutely insane. There was no other way that a witch as powerful as her would help such a lowly underling for nothing in return. Plus she could not help but notice that the blue witch was ridiculously gorgeous to boot. 

What was that saying? If it's too good to be true, it probably is. This old witch was probably a complete loon, but she was a loon with Peridot's only shot. At least she felt this small sense of comfort, deep down under all the fear of being murdered and skinned then shoved into a jar as another specimen. A tiny part of her was screaming to stick to Lapis' side. The rest of her was shrieking for her to run.

Peridot picked up what appeared to be a stuffed animal of a pixie. It looked to be sewn with great detail and care, but it's face looked pained. 

"I've got it, let's go back outside and prepare the environm-" Lapis stopped cold in her tracks, face becoming pained just like the dolls, "Please do not touch that. Anything else is fine, but leave that alone."

The green witch quickly set it down delicately, "What is it?"

"A mistake and a reminder. Let's go." Lapis uttered, heading back up the stairs, the torches beginning to go out in her absence.

They got back and the blue witch covered the hatch again, instructing Peridot not to ever go down there without her.

"I'm the only one that can open it. If you try you'll probably die." Lapis responded, shrugging. The green witch felt sick for the umpteenth time that day. The level of skill these things that seemed simple to Lapis must take power far beyond her grasp.

Lapis hummed, leveling out a plot into the ground until it was perfectly even, huffing a bit when she was done.

"Why didn't you use magic?" Peridot inquired. She watched Lapis use magic for a variety of things today, so why not this simple manual labor.

"Because this sort of magic needs intention, and this is the first step. I have put energy into the ground, thinking about what I have in mind. Now the Earth will know what I want out of it." Lapis explained, setting the jar of feathers and of lighting stricken sand, "You will need to stand here with me."

Peridot complied, watching as Lapis smashed the glass bottle with her bare feet.

"Owl's feathers for symbolism of wisdom and the mind. Scorched land to represent chaos. Blood from the caster, an offering of intention." Lapis murmured, pulling the glass shards out of her feet and setting them in the pile, with the exception of one that she handed to Peridot. She indicated for the green witch to slice her forearm. She complied.

"Blood from the intended, an offering of will. And now.." Lapis continued, setting her hand over the pile. All the blood morphed up in her hand, forming a small sickle that she hardened, then swiftly used to cut her opposite hand clean off, "A pound of flesh, a hand to heal."

The green witch watched in horror as the other witch's hand started to grown back. Bones, tissue, muscles, cartilage, veins and skin reforming at a rapid pace. She looked up to see Lapis' eyes pitch black as she dropped the weapon to the ground.

As soon as it hit the pile Peridot also hit the ground with a deafening thud.

"It is done. No going back now, my love."


	10. Love Is A Curse

After her former wife hit the ground Lapis proceeded to carry her back to the house and lock her in the spare room. Steven got back just as she was enchanting the door.

"What happened to your friend?" he asked, smiling as she started making dinner for him. Sapphire and Ruby would arrive shortly, so if she could get their meal ready quickly they wouldn't have much time to ask questions before she pushed them out the door.

"She's busy. Sorry you couldn't stay, in light of the unexpected company." Lapis smiled, chopping carrots like her life depended on it.

"It's okay. I'm sure your friend must want to catch up with you." Steven said as he set the table.

"Perhaps."

An hour later Sapphire and Ruby got there. Lapis made a point of keeping them preoccupied. They hadn't seen their friend so animated in years, not since what happened to Peridot. As they were leaving Sapphire stayed back for a moment to have a few parting words with her old friend. They didn't know about Peridot, she had Steven promise to let her tell them in her own time.

"What happened to your hand? I can smell the new flesh." Sapphire inquired, "Steven didn't see anything he shouldn't have, did he?"

"No, no. Of course Steven didn't see anything. I lost it when I was gathering some supplies." Lapis smiled, "Off you go. You wouldn't want to get home too late, would you?"

Sapphire looked skeptical, but took her leave none the less. They weren't as close as they used to be, so there was no point in pushing. Lapis wasn't going to say anything that she didn't want to.

The blue witch shut the door, and decided to finish that bottle of scotch. It would take a while for the small family to leave the island, and she didn't want to open the door until she was sure they were gone. On top of that, she wasn't exactly sure how sober she wanted to be for this. 

Two hours and a bottle of straight alcohol later she decided it was time. Lapis opened the door, quickly met with the smell of sulfur and screams of agony. She got closer to make sure Peridot was still unconscious. Sure enough, she was, but she definitely wasn't having a good time with her memory recovery.

The blue witch sighed, stumbling forward to grab the sage off the dresser. She set it on the writhing mass of black blood and flesh desperately trying to shift into a form that could handle this pain. Lapis set her hand over the sage, humming lightly as she concentrated on her spell.

The white sage started to break down, forming into dust and getting into the open wounds where the blood was overflowing. Lapis continued to hum her little melody until Peridot's form stabilized and the screaming subsided. It wasn't a permanent fix, but in her drunken state she felt great pain seeing the green witch suffer.

"Some good memories so your form can rest a bit."

She retreated back to her room, proceeding to have the best sleep she'd had in a while.

\------------------------------------------------

Lapis had gotten up late that morning, but the room was still sealed shut so she figured the process wasn't over. She made breakfast and headed to the backyard to turn the soil where they'd performed the spell. Lunch passed, and she'd made some for both of them in the off chance that Peridot would have come to by then. The green witch hadn't.

Lapis sighed, and continued on with the rest of her day. She tended to her garden, gathered the ingredients for dinner, and gathered water from the well. It was especially hot and humid that day, but there was a fantastic breeze going through the air that she couldn't help but reach out to try to grab.

She hadn't felt so good in a long time. She didn't have to worry about hearing the blonde's voice calling out to her, and the relief that came with that made her feel utterly free. She'd been chained to the depths of her mind all this time. She decided to have tea in her garden while her stew for dinner cooked. The sun was going to set soon, and she wondered how much more she would enjoy it than she had in the previous few years.

She sat on her bench, sipping at warm liquid when out staggered the blonde.

She watched on as the blonde proceeded to collapse in front of her, vomiting up a bunch of dirt in front of the blue witch's feet. Peridot coughed some, then got up and sat next to the other witch.

Lapis offered her the tea, and the green witch guzzled it down, giving no mind to the heat. They sat there and watched the sunset together in silence. It was memorizing, absolutely stunning in the same way it was when they first met. Back when Lapis was new, and Peridot was smitten at first glance. When it was over they went back inside.

"Why are you living in a hut?" That was the first questioned.

The blue witch scoffed, pouring the stew into bowls for them, "Because I can."

"Why are you living alone?"

"I'm not fond of living as a community any more."

"Your hair is so long now." 

"I haven't had the chance to get it cut. Stop beating around the bush, Peridot."

"You couldn't have made the process of getting my memories back a little more painless?"

Lapis paused, before sighing and setting the bowls on the table.

"Do you think you deserved it?" the blue witch asked, sitting down and pulling her hair back.

"You're mad, I get it." Peridot sighed, "To be fair, I did apologize."

"As they beheaded you and threw you into a pyre." Lapis retorted, rolling her eyes.

"Is there any way we could put it behind us?"

"Peridot, you ran off to die. Our daughter subsequently died in the process. You put a curse on me, willed to me by your death." Lapis muttered, "Of course we can't put it behind us. Is there even an 'us' to put it behind? You died. You severed our agreement and left me behind."

"There will never not be an 'us'." Peridot sighed, frowning, "Don't say something so cruel. I came back. It was you or me. Pumpkin would have died regardless. Don't you think I hate that too?"

"Don't talk about her death like it was meant to be! Or your's! I **know** what you thought, but you were wrong. And even if you were right you should have told me. We could have figured it out. We could have tried. Together." Lapis snapped, crushing her spoon in her hand.

"I did what I thought was best! I'm sorry! What do you want me to say?!"

"I don't want you to say anything! I want you to get rid of these awful curses! You can do whatever you want afterwards, but keep me out of it! I just want to live in peace!"

"What are you talking about? I only put one curse on you." Peridot insisted, confusion clouding her vision.

"This ridiculous love for you. I want you to take it away. It has done nothing but curse me! Even now. If you ever truly loved me.. If you ever truly saw me as more then a tool then please... I can't do this anymore." Lapis whimpered, covering her face with her hands as it began to rain.

"Oh Lapis.." Peridot frowned, getting up to set a supportive hand on her wife's back, "I can't. I can't get rid of either."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, it's all very vague. They have a lot more to talk about.


	11. Missing Directions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't and you like my fanfictions go follow me on Tumblr at miseryroot. I post about the stories and what I'm going to write about. And other junk like that.

When Amethyst got there Lapis was sitting on the porch smoking tobacco out of a pipe. The werewolf hasn't seen her in a month and she had the free time, so she figured she'd check on the witch.

She really hadn't expected this though. The witch waved at her as she walked up in a half-hearted manner. Something about Lapis just seemed different right off the bat.

"How's it going?" The werewolf asked, sitting next to the other woman.

"Oh, you know. My dead wife is back. I think I hate her." The witch responded.

"What?!" Amethyst exclaimed, "Wait.. I don't get it. Are you saying that the love of your life is here- alive! And you hate her now? Your emotions seriously can't be that wishy washy."

"No, no. I love her. But I also sort of hate her. Right now, at least. When she was dead I didn't have time to hate her. I just missed her. Now that she's back and owned up to some cruel acts I'm pretty mad at her." Lapis took a big puff, and blew it out as she talked.

"Where is she?"

"Inside. She's probably watching us right now. She hates my house. She calls it a shack." The blue witch sighed, shaking her head.

"Your house is cute! It's cozy and it smells like fresh herbs." 

"I know, right? And on the note of the herbs I've been leeching extra magic into the property because she's miserable since I'm mad at her." Lapis lamented, "And every time she's not in a good mood she starts siphoning energy out of the ground."

"Like when you make it rain outside when you're upset?"

"Yep. I don't know what to do. I know it's stupid to sit here and be angry, but I'm so mad. It's so immature." Lapis muttered, "I love her and she's alive. She's right inside my house. I should be all over her, and here I am. Smoking on my porch because I have a stupid grudge."

"Well, let's not sit on the porch then. Be the mature person I know you are, and introduce me to your wife." Amethyst declared, standing up.

"Former wife." Lapis clarified, getting up as well and opening the door.

Right there in the kitchen stood the giant werewolf that bit Amethyst and turned her into a monster. Lapis looked at the smirk on Peridot's face, then at the horror on Amethyst's.

"Knock it off! Don't terrorize my friends." Lapis snapped, "It's fine Amethyst. It's just magic. Whatever you're seeing isn't really there."

"It was just a little test." Peridot said simply, stirring her tea. Amethyst gasped as the image faded away, and was replaced by a blonde woman with green skin in all black.

"It seemed so real." The werewolf mumbled.

"It's supposed to." Peridot stated dryly, "You're Amethyst."

"I'm sorry." Lapis apologized to her friend, "This is Peridot."

"I'll make it up to you. Do you want a palm reading?" The blonde offered, reaching her hand out.

"She is really good at them.." Lapis admitted, shrugging, "I'll make everyone dinner."

"Uh.. Yeah, okay." Amethyst agreed hesitantly, sitting down across from Peridot and giving out her hand.

"Mm.. Your life started off uncertain. Without the wolf's curse you have died just shy of your twentyfifth birthday. It will do you good to continue to avoid big towns and the development of them. In fact, I would say to move to where the wilderness is even more untouched."

"Well, of course. My kind doesn't do well around a bunch of humans." The werewolf chuckled a bit, cut off by the piercing look in those green eyes.

"That's not why. You grip onto the kindness of strangers and find temporary comfort in flesh. You're a woman whose love lines are unfolding, but aren't received by anyone you spend time with." Peridot said, rolling her eyes, "You're desperate to feel wanted and needed. You've be been that way your whole life."

"So what?!" Amethyst snapped.

"Mind your manners." Peridot hissed, "I'm telling you that you'll find your partner deep in the woods. Look for the fea."

"Where in the woods?!" Amethyst asked, jumping up and almost knocking the plates out of Lapis' hands.

"Sit down. I don't know. It's not like I'm seeing into the future. These are just simple things." Peridot shrugged, before thanking Lapis for the food.

"Then how do you know so much about how I feel?" The werewolf asked.

"I have met many people like you. Previous humans can be such a compassionate bunch." The blonde replied.

They ate their dinner in silence. After that Amethyst felt rather dazed and decided it would be best to take her leave.

"Thanks for visiting. I hope you didn't get traumatized too much." Lapis smiled weakly, waving at her friend from the sink where she washed their dishes.

"I'll walk you out." Peridot mused. The werewolf felt automatically uncomfortable with that, but refusing felt like the wrong decision.

They walked out the door and down the hill, not a word between them until they got to the trees.

"I know what you did with my wife. Even tonight, with me there, you've been making sad puppy dog eyes at her." The blonde spat out.

"T-That's all in the past! We've just been friends for a long time." Amethyst defended, "How do you even know about that? Did she tell you?"

"Lapis wouldn't tell me something like that without warning you first. She would probably be concerned that I would kill you." Peridot retorted.

"So what do you want?" The werewolf muttered, "Are you going to kill me out here?"

"There are worse things I could do to you than kill you." The green witch rolled her eyes, "Go out into the land. Find your lady love. Don't come back here until you do."

"I can't just leave Lapis by herself."

"She isn't by herself anymore. I'm being merciful. I hate you, but without you it's very possible that Lapis would have been far worse off." 

"I guess I'll leave it to you then."

With that the Amethyst shifted into her wolf form, dashing off into the woods.

The green witch headed back to the house, opening the door to meet blue eyes.

"Lapis, this is enough. We have to talk." Peridot announced.

"I don't know what to say to you." The blue witch mumbled, turning away.

"Then I'll do the talking first. I'm sorry. I spent every second that I knew you trying to protect you. I thwarted every one of the council's attempts on your life. They waited us out. Waited until something bad enough could happen to call for a big enough sacrifice. No witch can refuse the calling of the Earth. When they announced it was to be you what was I supposed to do? Let you die? Never." Peridot walked closer to Lapis, grabbing her wife's free hanging hand.

"You should have **told** me! We should have **talked** about it! You're selfish! And awful! You **knew**! You plotted and planned behind my back!" Lapis cried, ripping her hand away as she turned to look her former wife right in the eyes, "You knew and you didn't even warn me. You had Sapphire and Ruby agree to assist in holding me down as I watched them murder you! As I felt my half of Pumpkin's magic return to me!"

"I watch my family unravel and you planned it! And if it wouldn't be worse you took away my only way out! You cursed me! You massacred a clan of white witches to saddle me with eternal life and then left me!" Lapis shrieked, body shaking as she let it all out, "Who do you think they blamed for that?! They hunted me down! It took me five hundred years to deal with them until they stopped sending witches! You died, Pumpkin died, you convinced our friends to betray me and then made it impossible for me to kill myself! I hate you!"

"I'm sorry. I had to. I just wanted you to live." Peridot wrapped her arms around the blue witch, holding her tightly as her wife struggled to get away.

Twisted laughter spilled out of Lapis' mouth at the last sentence, "Live?! I guess you got your wish! I have lived an endless life without you! The worst part is that when you showed up I was happy to see you! I even hoped that maybe, just maybe I was wrong! I clung to the one percent possibility that you didn't put this curse on me! But not only was it you, you also can't remove it!"

Peridot let Lapis scream, push, and and even try to scratch her way free from her grip. She refused to let go. Eventually she had an exhausted, sobbing Lapis Lazuli resting her head on the green witch's shoulder.

"I love you. I am selfish. I couldn't watch you die. I never want to see you perish. To me you might as well be the pure embodiment of life. You are my Persephone, please understand." Peridot said, words flowing out warm and inviting.

Lapis raised her head, "I guess that makes you Hades."

Peridot kissed her wife's tear stained cheeks, "I see myself more as Hel."

"That's not even the same source of mythology."

"I don't think that's very important right now." And with that she kissed Lapis for the first time in three thousand years.


	12. Fear And Love

_Lapis crawled onto the beach, spewing up water as she reached the surface. Her eyes were wide and her magic was making fast work of fixing her body._

_Her mind was a wreck. What had happened? What was the last thing she remembered? How did she end up there?_

_Suddenly her mind regurgitated the last thing she saw. Peridot! Her wife's head being sliced clean off then being chucked into the fire with her body. She felt sick._

_"N-No.. That can't be.. I have to be remembering incorrectly!" She cried, rising to her feet. She ran to more solid land. Where even was she?_

_This had to all be a mistake. Peridot couldn't be dead, that was insane. She pulled the ring off of her finger and starting chanting. A spell to find her wife, to take her there._

_Transportation magic always made her sick and she had never been very good at it. So when she showed up in the abandoned village with a long burned out pyre she again assumed it had to be wrong._

_But the ring in her hand urged her forward to the pile of ash. She saw a slight glimmer in the pile and fell to her knees. Her hands shook as she plucked a ring out of the remains._

_"No.. no!" She shrieked over and over, clutching onto the ring and gathering ash closer to her. If this was all that was left how could she ever leave?_

_"You can't leave me behind.. I won't let you..." Lapis whispered, tears falling from her eyes. She put up a barrier to protect the pyre from the rain that was now pouring down. She put both of their rings on._

_Lightening cracked across the sky and thunder roared as she created a buck knife out of the ash. She braced herself, and plunged it deep into her stomach. She screamed and desperately tried to keep her hands steady as she filleted open her torso._

_She looked down, seeing her guts spill out and her hands covered in blood. She felt her body getting weaker as she lost more and more blood until she slumped forward. Everything went black._

\-----------------------------------------------

_Lapis opened her eyes to the sight of the same pyre. The same blade was at her side. But she was perfectly fine. There wasn't a scratch on her._

_Was this some kind of cruel joke? She grabbed the blade again, this time cutting open her throat. When she awoke a few hours later she slit her wrists only to yield the same results._

_"I-I.. this isn't real. This isn't real. I have to go home. I'll get home and talk to everyone." She quickly dug a small hole with her hands and brushed the ash into it. Then she took off running._

_Everyone was going to look at her like she was crazy when she got there. She was covered in ash and her dress had a big slit in the torso. They were going to tell her she was being crazy when she told everyone what happened. Then they'd tell her Peridot was playing a joke on her or something. She'd get there and be able to feel her pixie's presence again. It was all one big mistake._

_Her hopes were dashed when she arrives. The stone building looked like a meteor hit it. It was crushed to pieces and singed. Her eyes caught sight of a smashed gourd where their front door used to be._

_Pumpkin. Lapis screamed, rushing over to the molding pile. Tiny bones were crushed in the squash. That's why she couldn't feel her. And if Pumpkin was gone.. She looked down at the rings._

\-----------------------------------------

Lapis screamed, shooting up in her bed and trying to take in her surrounding. She was met with panicked green eyes.

"What's wrong?!"

The blue witch paled, lurching forward to grab onto Peridot as tightly as she could, "I-I.. You.. Pumpkin..."

Peridot frowned as Lapis broke down in sobs. She returned the embrace, glad she'd weaseled her way into her wife's bed if only just for this.

"I'm here, I'm here.." The blonde soothed. She held her wife until Lapis was all cried out.

"How did you get here?" Lapis sighed, rubbing her face and then frowning on realization, "Noooo we didn't.. Dammit I'm still mad at you."

"We sort of absolutely did. You can still be mad. Do you want me to leave?" Peridot offered.

The blue witch's face blanched at the memory of the dream, "N-No.. You can stay here, just for tonight.."

Peridot grinned and they settled back down. Lapis kept her distance in the bed, but her gaze never left her former wife's form. A part of her was afraid the blonde would suddenly disappear.

"You always take advantage of the situation.." Lapis murmured before she inevitably fell back asleep.

Peridot smirked, closing the gap between them. The space agitated her. She was tired of being distant.

"How could I not?"

\-------------------------------------

Peridot awoke to her wife getting ready for the day. Lapis was properly dressed, braiding her hair to put it up in a bun.

"It's so long now." The blonde mused, pulling her clothes on.

"I wasn't well enough to cut it for a while, and then Steven liked playing with it. I want to cut it, but I feel like I should tell him first. Children aren't good with change." Lapis responded, adjusting her bun.

"How maternal of you." Peridot observed, getting up and wrapping her arms around her wife.

"No, it's not like that. Steven is important to me, is all. I looked after him for a while when he was a baby." Lapis muttered, pulling out of the embrace, "It was the first time since Pumpkin that I was to care for a being so small."

Peridot followed Lapis into the kitchen, sitting at the table while the blue witch made tea.

"You know.. We could create another pixie, if you wanted to." As soon as the blonde uttered the words she could feel the intense glare coming from her wife.

"You want to replace our child."

"Not replace, just-"

"She was our **baby**!"

"It's illogical not to move on and be happy like we used to be!" Peridot snapped, "The world does not stop turning!"

"It has nothing to do with logic! You're heartless!"

"Like you're some saint! I saw what was down in that cellar! That doll! I saw what you tried to do! You want our life back, too, I know you do!"

Lapis sputtered, gripping on her arms so harm her fingernails went through her flesh, "I-I just wanted her back.. I didn't mean to cause her any pain I just wasn't thinking properly.."

The blonde clenched her teeth. This was all wrong. She'd gone about it all wrong yet again. She never seemed to get her feelings right, and it was such a complicated issue.

Here she was, hurting Lapis again. What was she even trying to do? This was such a mess. The blonde stood up, walking over to her wife to hold her.

"I'm sorry. I'm being foolish. Of course you didn't mean to hurt her." Peridot sighed, relieved only slightly when Lapis didn't pull away from her yet again, "I'm rushing it. I just want us to be happy. You were so happy.. I want to make it all better. But I can't, and this wouldn't be the way anyways."

"You're always apologizing." Lapis murmured, "I want to forgive you, but I can't right now. Just.. be patient, for me. And let's not talk about this again."

Peridot agreed. Anything to stop their situation from getting worse. She shouldn't have thrown that doll in her wife's face.

It was an attempt to bring her back. It was impossible, though. Without the blonde there was no Pumpkin. Just a broken soul in horrific pain. Peridot knew Lapis would never do that in her right mind.

But Lapis wasn't in her right mind. Because she was all alone. Peridot wished she had come up with a better plan. One that would have saved their family. But she couldn't.

What was done was done. There was nothing either of them could do about it now. They probably weren't even close enough anymore to have a pixie.

Lapis had no faith in her, and she didn't exactly deserve it at this point. Peridot hated this. She didn't want to rebuild trust, or be unable to just be affectionate with her wife. Well, that wasn't true. She did want to rebuild Lapis' trust in her. She just didn't want it to be so difficult.

This process of repairing what she had broken was grueling. She was lucky that underneath it all Lapis still loved her and was so soft hearted.

Otherwise she would never stand a chance. Maybe she didn't deserve a chance. But couldn't she be greedy for the sake of love?

"I'll be better." Peridot promised.


	13. Bad Intentions

_"Don't go." Lapis mumbled, holding onto Peridot's arm as the blonde tried to leave their bed._

_"I have to get up. I have a meeting with the council today, you know that. It's important." Peridot mused, shaking her arm out of her lover's grasp._

_"I hate them. Can't you get a grace period? We just got married." Lapis complained, "I could just kill them all."_

_"Yes, of course love. That's a perfect solution. You'll kill them all and then the community will be plunged into chaos, giving us plenty of time to honeymoon." Peridot said, words dripping with sarcasm._

_Lapis sighed, getting up and pulling some respectable clothes on._

_"Fine. I see there's nothing I can do to convince you." The blue witch frowned, walking towards the door._

_She was halted by arms wrapping around her waist._

_"I don't want to go either. I hate them too. But it's important to keep the peace for now. For us. Plus I'll get to see the terrified looks on their faces when I tell them we're married." Peridot mumbled, "When I get back home I'll make up for it."_

_Lapis huffed and leaned back into her wife's embrace, "Fine. But only because I'm sure the look of sheer panic on their pathetic, bigot faces will be excellent."_

_"That's my girl." Peridot grinned, pulling her robe on over her clothes and teleporting away._

_Lapis frowned, stating at the ground where her wife had stood just a moment ago. It felt cold in their room without her there._

_She left the room, headed to the kitchen to make something for breakfast._

_"Lapis!" A tiny voice called out from behind her. The blue witch turned around and smiled._

_"Garnet. What can I do for you?"_

_"I'm hungry."_

_"We can fix that." Lapis mused, picking the toddler up and setting her on the counter._

_"Where's Peridot?" Garnet asked, pixie wings relaxes to her back as she yawned. She always looked more like a normal child in the morning._

_"She went to a council meeting. She'll be home later. Where are your moms?"_

_"They're sleeping. I was going to get a peach and go back to my room, but you're awake so let's spend some time together." The pixie smiled, fluttering her wings a bit._

_Lapis smiled, chopping up a big bowl of fruit salad for the both of them._

_"Perfect! Time just for you and me!" The witch declared before they dug into their meal._

_When they finished their food they left Sapphire and Ruby a note, and went to explore the woods._

\----------------------------------

_Peridot was in a fury when she came back, she couldn't find Lapis and that was only adding to her irritation. Finally she found a note in the kitchen._

_She stormed outside, plant life dying under her footsteps. Every touch of her's to the Earth resulted in dying flora. She didn't dare touch the fauna._

_Finally she caught sight of her wife. Lapis was sitting next to the stream with Garnet on her lap. She was explaining intricate spells as the fairy ate dandelions and traced the lines of the witch's hands with her finger._

_Peridot felt her anger evaporate. Lapis was in her element. In the middle of the wild with the pixie, radiating life. The green witch walked out to the two, leaning down to kiss her wife._

_"I'm back."_

_The blue witch beamed, "You're back so early! We should take Garnet back to her mothers."_

_Peridot nodded in agreement, leading them back. She watched the two out of the corner of her eye. Lapis grimaced when she saw the damage to the landscape, but she simply picked Garnet up and said nothing._

_She didn't want the pixie's feet touching the cursed Earth. Pixies were very in tune with nature and it woukd likely bother her._

_Lapis set Garnet down and she rushed off in search of Sapphire or Ruby when they got inside, leaving the married couple behind._

_"Something happened." Lapis observed, grabbing her wife's hand._

_"When I announced our marriage they confessed to trying to get around the agreement I made with them for your freedom. They're a bunch of ignorant fools. I demanded we get through the important details immediately." Peridot muttered._

_"Was that all? How sensitive of you." Lapis mused, looking up at the blonde. She'd noticed a few thousand years ago that Peridot always made herself as tall and daunting as possible when she saw the council. It never ceases to amuse the blue witch._

_"No. They want me to dissolve our marriage. They tried to vote on it like it was actually up for debate. Then they starting spouting a bunch of crazy nonsense about how you've poisoned my mind." Peridot hissed, getting caught up in her anger again, "It took a big show of power to get them quiet down and I had to take my leave before I butchered someone."_

_Lapis winced, feeling her energy being channeled and drawn out through their hand contact, "Dear.."_

_Peridot quickly pulled her hand away, pulling her gloves out of her pocket and putting them on._

_"And now I'm so agitated I can't even touch you. I should have butchered someone. Maybe it would have made me calmer." The blonde sighed, shrinking in height a bit._

_"I wish I could ease your paranoid mind. Don't pay them any attention. You know they're just desperately grasping at straws." Lapis soothed, "Besides, as long as we're together there is nothing they can do."_

\----------------------------------------------

"Why are you so nervous?" Peridot asked as they walked up the steps to their destination. Ruby and Sapphire's house was up ahead. She was very pleased to know that her friends did not live in a shack like her wife did and instead had made a lovely home that even sort of resembled the one they shared.

"I hate this place, I never visit, and they're going to be mad that I didn't let them know that you're back." Lapis sighed, gripping onto the canvas bag in her hands. In her mind there was no real reason for her to be there anyways. The day her wife died there was a line drawn in the sand. These were Peridot's friends, not her's. They'd been courteous to each other over the years after a few hiccups, but there was bad blood between the three of them and they mostly maintained contact to keep the peace.

"There's a lot that you don't know." Lapis muttered, grabbed the door knocker and slamming it down three times. She was relieved when Steven opened the door, glad that he was there. At least she could spend some time with him.

"Lapis!" Steven rushed forward, hugging the blue witch, "And Peridot, too!"

"Yes, I as well. Where is Ruby and Sapphire?" Peridot replied, mood a bit sour at seeing her wife so happy to be around someone else. Lapis was still pushing her away and keeping her distance. It was like a never ending chase and her partner was much too good at running.

"Peridot..?" Sapphire gasped, rushing outside. Steven had gotten to the door before she had. They excitedly welcomed everyone in, leading them to were Ruby was in the study. Lapis and Steven bailed though, opting to go to his room instead.

"I can't believe you're here!" Steven chirped, before ecstatically showing her everything he owned.

Lapis did her best to smile and be there in the moment with him, but this building was bringing back very unpleasant feelings. It was all too familiar to their home. Every time she remembered it her mind always went to seeing it crushed and her child's mangled body in front of their door. What had she been doing? Could the pixie feel something was wrong? Did she run to find her mothers before collapsing, no longer able to move?

"Lapis? Are you okay?" Steven asked, frowning as he waved his hand in front of the witch's face.

"N-No... Would you mind going outside with me?" She really needed the air.

Steven agreed, grabbing her hand and leading her to the quickest exit. He hadn't seen her look so troubled since they first started spending time together, and seeing it happen now was worrying him.

"What's wrong?" Steven asked, holding his pinky out, "Honesty only time."

They'd started doing this ever since he had given her that box of letters. They didn't want to be distant any more, and in order to do that it took the honest expression of feelings. She grabbed his pinky with her's and they shook them.

"I.. I never visit because I hate how much it reminds me of the past. I pushed all of that aside. I worked really hard to make my life now. It's hard to be around Ruby, Sapphire, and Peridot. It's hard to be here, it's just like our home. It hurts to remember. I thought that if I created a new life then my old one couldn't chain me down anymore. And even though it wasn't a perfect fix, it was still better than living in a sea of madness." Lapis frowned, sitting down in the grass, "Now Peridot's back.. And my shackles have tightened, tugging me back into everything that happened. I'm worried I won't make it through this time."

Steven hummed thoughtfully, "Have you told her about this?"

"No. I have a hard time communicating with her and.. I'm worried about what she'll do if she knows I feel this way. I'm scared of what she'll say." Lapis murmured.

"Secrets?" Steven offered, plucking a dandelion out of the grass and handing it the the witch. Lapis smiled weakly, and nodded her head.

They spent the next few hours making flower crowns until the sun went down. Sapphire, Ruby, and Peridot came to find them at that time. Lapis was playing with a ball of fire, illuminating the darkness around them as she chatted with Steven about school and Connie.

"There you two are!" Ruby called out from the door, "It's getting cold, come inside!"

Steven began walking toward them, Lapis reluctantly following him.

"You could catch your death out there, Steven! Oh- you're warm." Sapphire observed, leading Steven to the dinner table.

"Lapis kept us warm." Steven mused, sitting down in his seat to eat with everyone and setting their flower crowns on the table.

The blue witch extinguished the flame before stepping through the door, feeling Peridot's prying eyes on her. They joined everyone at the table, Lapis' vision downcast as everyone chattered on. She just wanted to go home.

"So where's Garnet?" Peridot asked, halting all conversation.

Sapphire narrowed her eyes at Lapis, "She didn't tell you, huh? Tell us, Lapis. Where's Garnet?"

The blue witch shuffled in her seat, everyone's eyes on her. Ruby and Sapphire looked agitated, Steven and Peridot confused.

"Should we really get into this old argument again? I thought we didn't talk about daughters anymore." Lapis stated, taking a sip of tea.

"I figured since Peridot missed out you could enlighten her." Sapphire retorted.

"Well, I granted her wish. She wanted to grow, so I simply made her her own being. Separate from their magic she could become more." Lapis mumbled.

"It was revenge and you know it!" Ruby snapped.

Lapis slammed her palms down on the table, rising up to stand.

"It was **not revenge**. If I wanted revenge don't you think I could have done better than that? It's what she wanted." the blue witch growled.

"Steven, go to your room." Sapphire sent the boy away, worry weighing him down.

"She wouldn't have wanted to do it if she knew that it would have stolen some of our magic!" Ruby retorted, standing up as well.

"I didn't think her mothers would be as selfish to deny her a life over a bit of magic! I didn't think that little detail really mattered! She wanted more in life and I could give it to her. You should be grateful!" Lapis argued, "She's living a wonderful life. You should be happy for her."

"I'd be happier if she would come home. You should have gotten our permission." Sapphire muttered.

"Permission?!" Lapis' hysterical laughter filled the room, " **Permission?!** Did I gave you permission for what you did to me? Guess I didn't have to. My keeper over here did it for me."

"Lapis-" Peridot started, getting up and walking over to her wife.

"It was for your own good!" Ruby yelled, crossing her arms, "And it was for the plan! We needed to control you so you wouldn't-"

"Ruby stop!" Sapphire cried, "This is going too far!"

"Oh here we go, the real reason behind everything! Yes, tell me more about the plan you all came up with I love hearing about it!" Lapis egged her on.

"You're such a pain! You're only free because of all of us, you know?! So what if we used you?! Everyone wants something in return for what they do! You were an investment but we could have been much worse to you! We were kind and took you in like family!" Ruby snapped

Lapis smirked, eyes going pitch black as a red pupil formed in the middle.

"Ruby.. I really didn't change Garnet for revenge. I would have just killed her if that was my intention. If that's what you want **it wouldn't be that hard**."

"The curse.." Peridot whispered. She rushed forward, only to be a step away from her wife as an ice cycle impaled Lapis' skull. Right through her left eye. The blue witch's body shuddered, hands raising to grip the offending object, ripping it out. Her blood flowed forward, covering the crater that the projectile left behind as her body worked to fix it.

Lapis quickly jumped on the table, advancing toward Sapphire prepared to rip her to shreds. There wasn't a conscious thought running through her mind anymore. She hadn't felt this way in years, the taste- no **the need** for blood flowing through her. 

"Stop!" Peridot called out. Lapis continued, ignoring the simple plea, but was stopped by a tug. Her eyes glared down at her wrists. They skin was suddenly slashed open, her blood forming chains. Her head snapped over to the source of restraint. The blonde stood there, holding onto the chains looking rather determined. The red pupils vanished.

"So you really are my keeper. Just another way for you to control me." Lapis hissed.

"Sleep." Peridot sighed, walking closer as the blue witch collapsed on the table. 

The green witch picked her wife's unconscious body up, chains vanishing.

"Good going, Ruby. We hadn't gotten into it about that yet. How long has she known what she were planning?" The blonde muttered, "How much does she know?"

"She said she started to get back to memories you took from her after you died. We don't know how much she knows." Sapphire answered, "She's smarter than we gave her credit for. Or maybe she got smarter after it all."

"I guess it doesn't matter that she knows anymore. The damaged has already been done. This is what we wanted, after all." Peridot sighed, "My poor wife."

"You never should have gotten so attached. You actually falling for her made the plan much more difficult." Ruby snapped, crossing her arms.

"There was no helping it." Peridot rolled her eyes, "We'll be going home now. I'll contact you two some time this week."

In the blink of an eye they were back at Lapis' house. It was humid on the island, but a breeze flowed through the window. The smell of mint and sage carried through the house, creating a calming environment on the especially dark night. The blonde set her wife down in bed, watching over her sleeping form.

"I'm sorry. This is all necessary."


	14. Cruel Methods

_"How are we supposed to control her?" Ruby hissed, clearly on edge._

_"She seems rather docile for a being so powerful. It's good she's so young. We can mold her mind now." Sapphire interjected._

_"I can keep her magic contained as she is. If we treat her kindly she'll never lash out against us. It doesn't seem to be in her nature." Peridot replied, shrugging off any and all concerns, "I told her I'd protect her. She spent the first year of her life being tortured. I'm sure she won't want to go back to that, especially with my promise of a much better life."_

_"You'd think she'd be more... vengeful? Has she talked to either of you about taking out those witches that tortured her?" Ruby asked, looking to Peridot and Sapphire for the answer._

_"No. She doesn't seem to care. She's been preoccupied lately, as well. It appears she's been wrapped up in the lives of the fae. She's been helping them with whatever they need. They get very agitated when I go to get her." Peridot muttered, "This could be more difficult if she manages to make strong allies."_

_"She said something to me about putting in the past." Sapphire offered, shrugging, "But Garnet was there with me so maybe she just didn't want the little one to hear something inappropriate. She's very doting on our pixie."_

_"She's not nearly vicious enough." Peridot sighed, running her hand through her hair, "She doesn't seem to have a mean bone in her body. Except towards the council."_

_"Something about them makes her how we need her to be. She looks at them like a predator ready to go in for the kill." Sapphire mused, a smile coming to her face, "I once saw her gripping onto the arm of a chair so hard that she broke it when Sugilite passed by. That's the witch we need."_

_"The council is always extending their power out for other witches to sense. A way of keeping them in line. It could be that she's having a violent reaction to their magic. She was made to smite white witches. Being around the strongest of them must make every cell in her body scream." Peridot observed, tapping her fingers on the table, "I wonder what would happen if we take that magic, concentrated it, and drugged Lapis. It could be just what we need."_

_A small gasp filled the silence that followed and the group of witches froze, before turning to the source. The door to the kitchen was slightly a jar, an eye visible through the crack. The green witch rose to her feet, going over and opening the door. Lapis was crouched down, herbs clutched in her hands._

_"P-Peridot?" Lapis' voice sounded so small, "You're going to poison me?"_

_The blonde grabbed Lapis' shoulder, glad the blue witch seemed to be in a state of shock. It was better if she didn't try to run or defend herself. Peridot bit her thumb, smearing the blood across Lapis' forehead, pressing her hand against it and beginning the spell to make the younger witch forget all about this._

_Blood curling screams filled the halls as the blue witch body flailed about, when it finally stopped her eyes were blank. Like there wasn't a single thought in her mind left._

_"You look tired. You should go to bed." Peridot informed her. All Lapis could do was nod her head and walk to her room._

\-------------------------------------

Lapis opened her eyes slowly, sitting up and stretching out.

"You knew."

She turned, looking over at the blonde sitting the corner, huddled up. Her form seemed small and fragile, but the blue witch knew better.

"I didn't want to talk about it." Lapis replied, standing up and distracting herself with the idea of which tea she should make that morning. The idea was shattered when Peridot blocked the door, figure suddenly much taller.

"How **much** do you know?" The green witch asked, though it sounded much more like a demand.

"I know everything you made me forget. I could piece it all together afterwards. I know what you want, and I know what you did." Lapis responded, going back to sit on her bed. If they were going to have this conversation and she couldn't leave, she might as well be seated.

"You didn't say anything."

"It's not like it really mattered what I thought." Lapis deadpanned, pulling her hair out of it's bun and undoing the braid. It was very heavy to carry all that weight and her wife apparently hadn't thought to take it down after she'd knocked the blue witch out.

"It matters.. but-"

"Not enough for it to change anything? I know." Lapis muttered, running her hands through her hair, easing the pained nerves.

"It's for everyone. And for you! You hate them! White witches are entitled and cruel! They wanted you to die in a hole without even knowing or seeing what you were created for!" Peridot exclaimed, trying to get a read on how her wife was taking all of this. 

"Let's not pretend anymore. As much as I don't want to admit it.. You did all of this. Everything just to turn me onto a tool bloodthirsty enough to kill them." Lapis murmured, "I never truly wanted to hurt anyone."

"You were made out of despair. Despair of every poor human brought down by the white witches. They were betrayed by the creatures created by their own kindness." Peridot sighed, "You were made to end that."

"And you were made of up the despair of those who didn't have enough! If only I had enough food, enough money, if only I looked different! If only there was another day! If only I had a knife to stab back!" Lapis snapped, eyes going black once again, "It fuels your insatiable greed. I never held it against you."

"I am not holding it against you! I think it's great! All those lovely but crushed intentions you were made out of.. Isn't that beautiful? You could fix it for them. So that it would never happen to anyone again." Peridot coaxed, walking closure and leaning over her wife, "Doesn't that sound nice?"

"I don't want to kill anyone." Lapis murmured, curling up as Peridot sat next to her. The blonde nuzzled her head against Lapis' and the blue witch did her best not to get carried away with how nice it felt.

"We can fix this. I won't keep you in the dark this time. Just tap into the murderous nature I know you have." Peridot whispered into her wive's ear, gripping onto a strand of her hair, "It could be great."

"You all think that I'm this perfect monster." Lapis muttered, "But you seem to be mirroring the behavior of the christian's devil."

"Then do yourself a favor and take a nice, soft fall from grace for me." The blonde mused.

"I never truly wanted to hurt anyone.." Lapis murmured, wrapping her arms around herself and squeezing tightly.

"You were good at it. I heard you managed to stay in your cursed state for a whole thousand years. You destroyed every living creature in your path." Peridot smiled, "You did so well. You took out hundreds of white witches. It's everything we wanted."

Lapis' face went pale at the mention. This was what they wanted. She'd worked so hard to control herself. She isolated herself to an island free of any other witches and treated every life like it was precious. She had finally gotten to a point where she was actually atoning for all the wrong she had done.

The blue witch's heart felt like a hummingbird's as she pushed Peridot away and made a mad dash for the door. She made it out the front door with her wife hot of her heels and ran. All she could think was that she had to get out of this and far away from the green witch. 

She looked back to see Peridot had shifted into a large wolf, barreling after her. She knew if she could get this right then it would be worth it. She slowed a bit, letting Peridot get closer before buckling her knees. The green witch wasn't prepared for the abrupt stop, claws slashing through the clothing and flesh on her bride's back.

Lapis' eyes went black, large wings of black blood forming and hardening as fast as she could manage. Peridot shifted back to her form, eyes wide, absolutely in awe of the creature before her. This strength, her power... **The blonde had to have it**.

Just as her feet lifted off the ground Lapis heard a tiny voice behind her.

"Don't go!"

Her head snapped back, eyes taking in the little form. Warm, brown skin. Long white hair and eyelashes, and big orange eyes. Her little yellow wings fluttered as her hand reached out to Lapis.

"Don't go! Don't leave me!" Her voice rang out like tiny bells and blood dripped down Lapis' black eyes in lieu of tears.

It was a trick. It was a horrible, horrible trick but the blue witch couldn't stop her hand from reaching out and grabbed the pixie's. She was so fixated in that long lost smile that she didn't notice the pixie's other ball up hand inching closer and closer to her face. Her palm opened up to relieve a glimmering white powder, and she blew it right into Lapis' eyes.

The blue witch sputtered, falling back as Peridot shifted out of Pumpkin's form. She stood over her wife as Lapis' pupils turned red and she lunged at the blonde. But as soon as Lapis got close enough to process who Peridot was she lost interest, flapping her wings to prepare for takeoff. There was life everywhere and she needed to find it. It was calling to her, screaming out, driving her insane. She needed to silence it.

"Stop!" Peridot hissed as her wife began to fly off, chains forming. She yanked on them hard, Lapis' body crashing to the ground at the force.

"I really do admire how determined you are. But for now, we're going home." Peridot declaring, pulling the reluctant monster behind her.


	15. Dream of Poppies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the second update today, make sure you read the first one if you haven't already!

_"Why.. Why do you love her?! She used you! She lied to you! Are you even sure she really loved you?!" Pearl shrieked, backing away from the enraged witch in front of her._

_"It's none of your business! I told you to stop poking around in my dreams!" Lapis hissed, stomping forward, "Now stop moving! Let me take it away."_

_"Like she did to you?!" Pearl asked, eyes glaring in a defiant fashion. She watched the witch falter, and ultimately back away._

_"Get out and don't come back. I didn't let you stay here to pry into my past. You think any of us are any better than her? You're wrong. Everyone uses people. You and I are just more forward with our intentions." Lapis muttered, pointing at the door._

_"You looked so scared. You were **scared of her** , Lapis. Don't forget that." Pearl grabbed her things, sighing as she stood by the door._

_"I love her. I can't just will my heart to change." Lapis murmured in reply. Pearl opened the door and left._

\--------------------------------

The vampire knew their parting wasn't good, but the letter Amethyst sent her regarding the witch and her wife concerned her. Every bit of contact she'd had with Lapis after their argument was strained and filled with resentment from both of them. Lapis resented her for breaking her trust yet again and judging her wife. She resented Lapis for letting herself be used by someone that didn't seem to care about her.

Wasn't that why they saved Rose from the sacrifice? Because they couldn't bare to see another person fall victim to being used as a selfish means to an end?

Pearl sighed, walking up to the cabin, cloak shrouding her form and hiding her from the sun. She could see Lapis' muffled form through the window in her room, so she walked up the side of the house instead of going to the door. Best to talk to **just** Lapis first, anyways.

But when she got close Pearl saw those horrible red pupils, that twisted smile spread across the witches face.

Lapis lurched forward, hands slapping the glass of the window as her body pressed against it. She looked so eager to burst through the glass and snuff out the vampire's life. Pearl then saw the chains attached to her wrists, and the door of the room began to open. She felt her throat tighten as she sprinted away.

The madness was back. She hadn't seem Lapis like that in a long time. The witch had worked so hard to restrain and control that part of herself. What had happened? What had that woman done to her? Pearl climbed up the tallest tree she could, using her sharp vision to survey the house. 

She watched as hours later the two small witches that were always with Steven appeared, and a blonde woman exited the house with Lapis. That was her! The woman she saw in Lapis' memories.

Lapis was lunged forward, trying to grab a hold of the small witches as the blonde held her back with those chains. They went off on their way. Pearl followed them from a great distance, enhancing her vision and hearing to try to figure out what was going on.

"-got her by the teleportation field. No one goes over there. It's at the tail end of the island and she told the villagers to stay away. They listen to her well." The small blue one said, "No one will interrupt."

"Good. I want to reduce the damage on her mind, I do want her back after all of this. Killing some innocent humans would weigh heavily on her. You know how sympathetic she is." The blonde muttered, tugging on the chains right before Lapis could manage to touch the small red one.

Pearl narrowed her eyes. What did this woman care anyways? Lapis was already in this state; she was going to hate herself for this regardless. It was going to crush her. The vampire continued to follow them, noticing that when they got to their location there was an unconscious and bound woman laying there. Seeing her seemed to drive Lapis absolutely insane as she lurched forward.

The blonde let go of the chains, and they disappeared once out of her grasp. Pearl watched as the blue witch tore into the now very conscious and screaming woman. Limbs went flying, the blood fest only ending when the blue witch managed to smash in the woman's skull.

Lapis' chest heaved with deep breaths and then she burst in a massive fit of laughter as she looked at her blood soaked hands. 

The sky had fallen shortly after the group had gotten there and the moonlight was the only light there to witness this brutal murder. Pearl watched as the blonde advanced towards the blue witch, kneeling down and planting a kiss on her lips.

"I'm sorry. You did well."

Pearl had never felt so sick. Lapis seemed struck by the words as well, tears beginning to stream down her face as laughter turned to sobs and that red pupil disappeared. The vampire took that as her chance.

She used her advantaged speed to rush down and over to the witches. She swiftly lifted Lapis up, and was off like a shot right at the beginning of the first protest.

"P-Pearl?" Lapis rasped. The vampire nodded, not daring to stop. She knew these witches were going to follow them no matter what and she wanted to put as much distance between them as she possibly could. She got to the end of the island before urging Lapis to teleport them somewhere off this small island.

"I-I can't. I won't matter. They have my house, with my possessions they could find me in a heartbeat. They're probably tracking me right now. You have to leave before they find you too." Lapis murmured, gaze unfocused as she shakily stood on her own feet.

"I don't want to leave you here. What do we do?" Pearl asked, gripping onto Lapis' shaking arms.

"Nothing. That witch.. I..." Lapis trailed off, covering her mouth as her shuddered.

"You don't want this. I know you don't. Think of a way to escape and I'll watch over you. Try to figure out how to get away. I'll wait, okay?" Pearl asked.

"No, just.. Leave me behind. Once they get what they want everything they'll leave me alone. Fighting this is useless. They've been plotting this for thousands of years." Lapis muttered, refusing to meet Pearl's eyes.

"No! We can do this! You're strong Lapis! I know you can change this! There's always a way!" Pearl insisted.

"No! You don't understand! You have all this conviction but I.. I've been a pawn since the very beginning." Lapis frowned, "Leave me to my fate. Maybe I'll see you on the other side."

"No! Listen to me! I'm not to give up on you! We never gave up on anyone! We saved lives together and fought even when it felt pointless! This is nothing new! I will rescue you!" Pearl argued.

"Pearl! There won't be anything good left to save! I'm just going to keep killing just like they want me to. And when they're done.. I'll probably just be a shell." Lapis murmured.

Pearl screamed out in irritation, grabbed Lapis again. They needed more time. She started sprinting again, keeping her senses aware of the other witches so they didn't run right into them.

"If only this island was larger, I could keep moving and they wouldn't be able to track us down." The vampire muttered.

"Motion... Motion! Pearl stop!" Lapis screamed, an epiphany striking her. Pearl halted, setting the witch down.

"Get Amethyst, she knows some friends of mine that will help! You're a genius! Motion!" Lapis exclaimed, gesturing wildly towards the water, "The sea! It's constantly rocking! They can't track me if I never stop moving!"

"It's going to take months to accomplish this..." Pearl sighed, "We don't know what will happen to you."

"It's our only shot." Lapis smiled, "Now just one more thing.. Cut my hair off with your nails."

"Wha-"

"Just do it. We need it." The blue witch insisted. Pearl sighed, hardening and extending her sharp claws, grabbed Lapis' hair and shearing it to her shoulders.

Lapis kneeled down to the floor, casting a spell. In place of her hair now laid an elegant spear.

"When you see me again my mind will no doubt be swimming in an ocean of insanity. You have one shot with this spear to impale me. It will subdue me, and imbued with the memory of the moment I'll regain my sanity. You'll have to get me away from them quickly after that." Lapis explained, handing her old friend the weapon, "Now go. They'll be here any second.

Pearl gave her one swift nod before escaping. She didn't like this plan. She had to leave the witch behind, finding Amethyst could take who knows how long, and then she had to chuck a spear through the woman she had very complicated feelings for. 

But if it was the only way then she would do it. Lapis saved her, she saved everyone they met. The vampire was going to free her if it was that last thing she did.

\--------------------------------

"Who was that? What did you do?" Peridot questioned when she saw Lapis and her lack of hair.

"A kind soul. I got my hair cut, doesn't it look nice?" Lapis hissed. The blonde narrowed her eyes, grabbing her wife by the collar and pulling her to close.

"The vampire. You reek of her." Peridot scoffed, "You know, I liked her even less than your other replacement for me."

"They're more than replacements! Is it unbelievable that I could care for someone who isn't a complete monster?!" Lapis snapped.

The green witch disregarded the insult, "Your little toys should stay away. I won't be so merciful this time. I really thought they'd stop bothering you after I gave them distractions. I guess there must just be something about a damsel in distress."

"What did you do?!"

"I told Amethyst where to find the person who would actually love is and sent her on her way. I didn't tell her what would happen when you got there." Peridot mused, making a flicking gesture with her hand as she make a popping noise, "Beasts of fur and their fragile, fragile hearts. I made a golem for Pearl in the image of her dead lover. It was instructed to poison her in her sleep after they fornicated, but that vampire is a Lancelot if I've ever seen one. Talk about romancing the stone."

"You're a wicked snake in the grass!" Lapis growled, summoning water from the cliff side, forming a thousand small throwing knife sized streams, willing them forward. Peridot grinned as each stream evaporated in a mass of steam.

"I know you can do better than that. Don't go easy on me!" Peridot mused, picking up a fist sized rock, crystallizing and hurling it forward to fast Lapis couldn't dodge, "My turn!"

Lapis gasped as it ripped into her abdomen. Her knees collapsed under her as the crystallized mass twisted and twisted, crushing her bones and organs.

The blonde smirked, walking up to her shrieking bride. She crouched down next to Lapis, patting her back.

"There, there. You can't heal if the injury hasn't stopped. We'll call it even on your infidelity now. Want me to be your hero and take it out for you?" Peridot offered, "Say please. You did start this little fight, after all."

Lapis burrowed her shaking hands into the gaping wound, searching for the stone. She gripped onto it as hard as she could with it tearing into her hand now as well. She pulled it out, dropping it at Peridot's feet.

Blood spilled out as the blue witch opened her mouth, "Fuck you!"

"Aren't you just precious?" Peridot mused, "Pretty even mortally wounded and covered in blood."

Lapis said nothing as Peridot grabbed her by the wrists, putting her into an embrace. The blue witch suddenly felt so exhausted, waves of calm washing away her anger. Why?

"The crystal. It's Black Tourmaline. It should give you a good rest." Peridot sighed, placing a kiss on her wife's forehead, "Stop doing this. Don't rebel against your fate, you were made for this. I'm only doing what's best for everyone."

"That little witch was so young. Probably not more than a few hundred years..." Lapis whispered, having a hard time keeping her eyes open, "How could you say that killing her is what's best of everyone?"

"Sacrifices have to be made for the greater good." The blonde murmured, brushing her hands through Lapis' short hair, "You know that."

"I'm so tired... This must be what children feel like. So helpless and needy." The blue witch yawned, eyes watering up and tears spilling out, "Tell me something nice, will you?"

"I love you. If I had my way we'd be far, far away from here. We wouldn't be involved in any of this. The smell of sage would be strong in the air and we'd be in a field of poppies as we gathered them. I'd propose to you all over again. You'd say yes. We'd love each other and be happy. I would never let anything happen to you. We'd make Pumpkin and she'd be the best thing that ever happened to us, and I'd wake up to your beautiful face everyday. Thousands of years would go by and a natural disaster like an earthquake or something like that would hit our home directly. We'd die together holding hands. My last words to you wouldn't be a sad attempt to apologize, but me telling you that I love you."

"What a nice dream.." Lapis breathed out softly, finally closing her eyes and falling asleep. A strained smile graced her bloody mouth.

"It's everything I should have done." Peridot lamented, clutching onto her beloved tightly, "I'm so sorry I couldn't have been better. Maybe one day I'll reincarnate into the person that you deserve."


	16. Swept Into Temptation

Lapis sighed, sitting in her room and searching her mind for the information she'd gained from that white witch she'd killed.

What was new? What sort of person was the poor girl? 

Witches put parts of themselves in their spells, their own little way of gaining immortality long after they passed. 

The only things that came to mind were animal husbandry and a spell to make any bed instantly fresh. Lapis' hands balled up into fists and she pounded on her door.

She got right into her wife's face as soon as the door was unlocked.

"I hope you're happy! You had me kill a girl that only wanted to raise animals and sleep peacefully!" 

Peridot raised as eyebrow, sighing.

"Let it go Lapis. It will be better for you of you don't sympathize with the enemy." The blonde replied, "And I am happy. Did you know that she was also an extremist that killed thousands of humans? She'd grind up their bodies and use them as compost. She was fully on board with eliminating all of humanity. So yes, I am very happy that she's gone."

Lapis bit her cheek in agitation. The green witch patted her wife's head gently before turning on her heel to leave.

She was stopped by a tug on the back of her robe. Peridot looked back to see Lapis clutching onto the cloth tightly. 

"I.. Can't stand to be alone anymore. I keep seeing her face. I have to get out of this room." Lapis muttered, glaring at the ground.

Peridot sighed. It had been a week since they fought. She watched as her wife tried to cope with becoming a killer again. Lapis wouldn't talk to her about much of anything.

"Yeah, okay. Let's go. It's almost dusk anyways. We might as well see something nice." Peridot grabbed her wife's hand, pulling her through the door frame.

Lapis tried to pull her hand away but Peridot only tightened her grip. The blue witch decided to let it go, sort of worried she'd be forced back in isolation if she didn't.

She was surprised to know the thing that Peridot considered to be 'nice' was getting knee deep one the ocean and watching the sunset.

Lapis stared up at the sky in awe. This world never stopped amazing her. She'd seen the sun set millions of times, but her heart was always swayed by the rotation of the sun and moon.

While she watched the sunset Peridot watched her. Seeing her wife bathed in the orange, red and purple hues of the sky with her hair short and eyes bright brought her back to the past. 

_Aruba was especially lively that day. Thinking back on it, it was as if nature was celebrating her wife's creation. The fruit tasted better, the plants looked to be in perfect health, and the white sand felt even softer than ever._

_When she laid her eyes of the girl waist deep in the sea she suddenly understood why. A brand new witch stared up at the sunset. Peridot couldn't stop her feet from rushing forward. She felt absolutely possessed._

_The creature's head turned to the blonde's dirrection. Tears were pouring from the blue witch's eye, a brilliant smile across her face._

_Peridot had never felt more greedy than in that moment. How could she freeze this perfect being and keep this experience only for herself?_

_She halted, desperately trying to remind herself that this creature was just another witch and not an otherworldly being._

_In typical Aruba fashion, it began to rain. But it was a gentle, warm rain unlike any of the other downpours that week._

_But she was so distracted that she wrote the mysterious weather off as just being odd. The witch had started walking towards her and she felt the very urgent need to get clothes on this woman before she acted seriously inappropriate in front of a perfect stranger._

_She pulled her cloak off, holding it out as she looked away. She felt the fabric being taken up of her hands, but still felt unsure about whether or not she should look back._

_Apparently it was stupid to think she had a choice in the matter. Two hands grabbing her face and she gasped, feeling immense power hitting her senses._

_She fell to her knees, grabbing the blue witch's hands._

_"Be my bride!"_

Peridot's memory shattered as she felt a palm push her face away.

"Stop staring at me." Lapis huffed, taking the opportunity to rip her hand away from her former wife's frozen grasp and sit down in the water.

The push and pull of the ocean made her feel a little better.

"I wasn't staring. I just got a little lost in my memories. The sunset by the ocean reminds me of when we first met." Peridot defended herself against the accusation.

"Why would that even matter to you? Does it amuse you to remember when you started to manipulate me?" Lapis muttered, digging her hands into the sand.

"Not everything I did was because of the plan. Besides, it wasn't until the next day that I casted the spell to figure out why you were born." Peridot sighed, shaking her head, "I'm not omniscient."

"Just malevolent." Lapis retorted, "You possess a heart of ice."

"No. I wish I did, it would have made everything much easier. I loved you. I still do." Peridot murmured, "Do you still love me?"

Lapis looked up to meet the intense, piercing gaze of impossibly green eyes. She could feel the energy being sapped out of the ocean and herself, but she didn't even need that to know that the blonde was distressed this time. It was written all over Peridot's face.

"You know the truth. Could it be possible that you still love me?" Peridot's voice came out in a pained and strangled fashion.

Lapis rose to her feet and stood before her former wife.

"I don't like you. I absolutely hate you." The blue witch replied, eyes softening a bit before she spoke she last few words, "But I still love you."

A curious expression crossed the green witch's face. It was like she was both overwhelmingly relieved and horribly saddened, "Why?"

Lapis frowned, turning her back to her former wife in favor of looking at the stars over the ocean.

"Why does the ocean reflect? Why does the grass grow?" Lapis closed her eyes, feeling the breeze greet her face and rush through her hair, "I can't help it. I can't stop. It was just meant to be. Maybe you're right. Maybe this is fate. It is something only I could do. Maybe fate tethered me to you because you're the only person that could make me do it.""

"You.. had to have known that I was no good. You watched me wage wars and destroy lives if it benefited me to do so. Deception comes as easily to me as breathing. My mere existent kills the life around me."

"I love the way your mind twists and turns. It's amazing to watch you go. The way you think, how you speak..it's like everything you do is magic." Lapis mused, "I knew that to you everything was like a puzzle. I just wanted to be your favorite one. I fell so hard I forgot how to land."

"How do you live that way? Leaping blindly into things. You never planned or plotted. You had no contingency plans or fail safes. How were you not terrified?" The blonde asked.

"I love this world. Jumping in blindly wasn't always a good experience, but more often than not I got to meet amazing people and see impossible things. And you're wrong. I did have a fail safe." Lapis swirled back around, the ghost of a smile on her lips, "I had you. You were always there when I stumbled too hard or was in too deep. You picked me up and set me straight. When I was crushed by life and how things could be so cruel you were there for me. You made me feel invincible."

"I had no idea you thought so well of me." Peridot murmured, "I guess that's just another thing I destroyed."

"No. You're such a fool. Maybe it wasn't all real, but to me it was. My relationship with you, our marriage. Those memories belong to me." Lapis' hair whirled around her face wildly as the wind whipped up more and more, "The you that was my partner lives on with me. You can't destroy that."

She hadn't talked to the blonde so much in so long. Something that wasn't an argument but an actual conversation. It felt strangely relieving. Her heart felt lighter not being so weighed down by words she couldn't say. 

She thought about how if her plan worked she wouldn't have the chance to say these things. Was it okay to take advantage of the time she had left with Peridot? Would it be okay to occasionally cast aside her rage in favor of seeking comfort from the person she loved?

She watched as her former wife got closer and closer to her, lips meeting her's in a surprisingly delicate fashion. Peridot was worried she'd scare Lapis off.

The blue witch wrapped her arms around the blonde's neck, melting into that sweet, familiar kiss.

Screw the fear, the worry, the pain. If everything was going to be wrong anyways why shouldn't she take advantage this? For a fleeting moment she wondered if this was the way Peridot had felt.

Hands gripped onto Lapis' waist and all thoughts of not giving in fluttered away with the breeze.


	17. The Shapeshifter

_She could feel the blood rushing out her neck, fingers twitching, dug deep into the long decayed ground beneath her._

_"A mermaid's larynx! Who knows, maybe you'll be able to shift your voice after this! Wouldn't that be fascinating! I just love all the quality time we spend together." A cheerful voice mused._

_Hands worked at her throat, setting the muscle in place to attach and heal it. The air filled with screams now that she was capable of the noise again._

_"It's a good thing we're done now. You're running out of soil to draw energy from, and I can't have you dying on me yet. Tonight's **the** night!"_

_The woman talking came into view, leaning forward to stitch her neck closed, "I just love sewing!"_

_There was a mask covering her face, and the skin from her arms to her hands were covered in wraps. Her robes were long, black with gold establishments of serpents curling around a staff._

_"You know, Peridot. I think you're the best companion I've had. As long as I'm diligent and you have that self-defensive maneuver of pulling energy into yourself, you'll never die. Not unless there was some sort of freak accident, like being struck by lightened or something. And even then there's only a one and a million chance you'd get struck in a fatal spot. Aren't odds fun?" The woman chirped, grabbing Peridot's arms and dragging her along._

_They got to a wheel barrel and the woman tossed her in it, wheeling her along._

_"I'm so glad I found you! You dark witches are so cute and meek in nature! I loved all my subjects, but they just kept dying on me. Not at all like you. Just you wait, we're going to find a way to make you shift into any form! Imagine how helpful you'd be to me then! The perfect pet. We're so close, I can feel it! I mean, how many transplants have we already done? Around two hundred and twenty? We only really needed to replace almost every bone in your body, but I wanted to be more thorough with the organs as well! I thought the larynx would be a good last addition, and I just wouldn't pass it up when I saw that mermaid."_

_They approached a mausoleum and the woman picked Peridot up, carrying her into the building. The smell of alcohol and death filled the air. She was set down next to the mermaid that was killed not hours ago. Her green eyes fixated on the creature's mutilated throat. All that for a tiny organ that made noise. Then she looked into the creature's eyes. They were already sort of glazed over. She supposed they really weren't supposed to be on land at all, let alone dead. Maybe that made her decay faster?_

_"I hope she's good enough company, I have to get everything ready!"_

_Peridot waited, listening to the clinking of jars. There was no point in running. It had never helped before. She'd learned that her mistress would get what she wanted a long time ago. There was nothing she could do about it, and there was no point in trying._

_The white witch was more powerful than her. In the end that's what it all boiled down to. She was stronger, and had an excellent social standing. She could do whatever she wanted to her slaves, because they were just dark witches. They were nothing._

_They had no rights, knew very little magic, weren't permitted to learn more than basic magic and were generally uneducated._

_It hadn't taken Peridot more than five years of being around to learn that nothing but a miracle could suddenly make this life worth living. The oldest dark witch she'd ever met was nearing five hundred. She worked at the auction hall, and to the rest of them she was ancient for their kind. They didn't usually last that long._

_White witches lived for thousands of years though. It must be nice on top of the food chain._

_"It's ready! Let's see if it works! Keep an image in your mind of what you want to look like!"_

_Peridot reached out to grab the deceased mermaid's hands, closing her eyes tightly. The sea creature's hands were cold and stiff, but since it was likely Peridot wasn't going to survive this she at least wanted to pretend she wasn't going to die alone in a world were no one ever cared about her._

_Her mistress was insane. She'd known that for a while now. The woman was so unstable sometimes she could just come up and cut off strips of fresh off Peridot only to sew a fresh corpse's skin in it's place for absolutely no reason. The dark witch was unsure if she had even a fourth of her own skin left, but she was pretty sure this wasn't going to work._

_The immense pain came as no real surprise. She never could have guessed it could hurt this badly, but she had always known it would be horrible. What she hadn't expected was to lose her form entirely. Her body burst at the seems, blood and guts went flying. Bones were crushed to dust on impact._

_There was nothing left. And then there was. It all swarmed together, putting the pieces back in place. She laid there once again, gasping as she shot up into a sitting position._

_"It worked! I knew it could work! It just needed something to draw all that energy together! You were the key!" Her mistress cried out in glee, jumping and twirling around the room in celebration._

_Peridot shook, looking down at her one toned legs. Her skin.. it wasn't a nightmarish patchwork quilt anymore. But her flesh felt so.. **unstable**. A sharp, white hot pain bore through her skull. She cried out as blood started pouring out of her eyes, mouth and ears._

_She gripped onto the ground as she felt herself lose that gentle form, body growing taller and taller. Her flesh began to feel diseased, and pulled impossibly tight over her bones. Blonde fur grew out to coat her body and the flesh on her face seemed to deteriorate as her skull crunched and contorted in the shape of a deer's. Her eyes had turned blood orange, glowing with a bright yellow pupil in the center. The smell of death was worse than ever before._

_Her mistress walked closer, grabbing Peridot's face and turned it before pulling at her jaw._

_"Open up."_

_Peridot obliged, revealing gruesome yellow fangs and a long tongue. The white witch started to cackle._

_"Yeah, I think it worked alright. What were you imagining?"_

_"True form.. This isn't..." Peridot cried, the sounds coming out rather gruff. Suddenly a very strong impulse came over her as her mistress turned her back to the dark witch. The unbelievable desire to rip her chest open and devour her heart. Peridot couldn't help it. She was just so **hungry**._

_"Yeah, that's what I thought. It's because you're weak. The strength you absorbed from the earth has more will power than you do. This is what it believes your true form to be; a wendigo." The white witch laughed, "It sees your nature as greedy and cannibalistic. Just like your people. Honestly, why did it even create you just to scorn and reject you? I'm glad though. You're such a nice toy and I get to play with you to my hearts content since no one else wants you."_

_"This was a success, but you are an unfortunate failure. You're not capable of what I need you to be. You are not strong enough-"_

_Peridot felt her crawls piercing though the white witch's flesh before she was sure she was the one doing it. The white witch's eyes narrowed, she spat out a spell and Peridot felt her body crash into the wall before losing it's shape once more._

_"Oh you're a thousand years too early for that." Her mistress muttered, "You think you can kill me now? How precious. You're basically a new born. And even if you weren't your people are pitiful, they can't kill mine."_

_Peridot felt a strong hand clutch onto her stitched up neck, squeezing as she was dragged by the fire._

_"I'm in a good mood, so after I do this we'll call it even on your traitorous behavior." The white witch declared, pulling a syringe out of her bag, injecting it into her slave's neck._

_Peridot's eyes shook with fear as she was unable to move any other part of her body now. She wanted to scream as she felt the a sharp blade cut into her chin. Tears poured out of her eyes as the slashing began. Her face had been the last part of her body that was unmarked._

_"I'll tell you a cute tall tale. Your people say that one day there will be one of you so strong she could wipe out all of my kind. Isn't it adorable that they think you'll get some sort of vengeful goddess? Stronger than any white witch, she'll eliminate us one day. What a nice bed time story."_

_Peridot felt her petrified body being dragged to a cage and thrown in._

_"Tomorrow we'll try something new."_

_Power. If only she was stronger, strong enough to change all of this. Her eyes clenched shut. She didn't want to do this anymore. When was the last time everything felt okay? She couldn't remember such one single moment like that._

_The Earth resented her upon arrival, her people looked down on her for her inability to control her energy siphoning, and then she was sold into this situation._

_She was a monster, more so now than ever before. She felt her body shift back into the wendigo's form as the injection wote off. Even with this form she wasn't strong enough._

_Her mind shifted to the story of this supposed powerful dark witch. Were they just supposed to sit around and wait for her to show up? Were they just supposed to suffer and die? She didn't want to. She wanted to live, she wanted to be strong too! If she could be strong she swore she would help this mysterious being in her mission to end the greatest evil she had ever known._

_Rage swelled in her heart and that peculiar feeling returned. She felt so, so hungry._

_"Please.. I know that you hate me, but.. I need help. Just tonight, please give me the power to change myself. I just need a chance and I swear I'll do some good in return." Peridot whimpered, tears spilling out of her glowing eyes._

_"Ugly, pitiful creature."_

_She heard the sickly sweet voice coming from behind her._

_"Whose there?" Peridot asked, eyes widening, body breaking back down into her actual form._

_"You were just holding my hands an hour ago."_

_The dark witch looked over at the corpse, still in the same place as before. The mermaid?_

_"Accept my power and let me be at peace. I want to move on, but I'm tied to you now. All of us are."_

_Suddenly it was like a switch was flipped and she could see them. Spirits everywhere, crowding around her._

_"The old witch doesn't truly know what she's done, what she's made you. A blasphemous creature. Accept our power and she will face her consequences. Begging to the earth will not save you, but we can. Spill your blood and accept the contract."_

_"If it will make me strong I'll do anything." Peridot bit into her arm until her teeth cut through the discolored flesh._

_As soon as she did could hear screaming coming from the other room, and a rush of power came over her. The cage broke until pieces around her at her will, and she rushed into her mistresses' room._

_There was nothing left of her owner but enough blood to cover the floor of the room and a still beating heart._

_Peridot grinned, rushing forward to devour it. Finally her hunger could be appeased._

_"All of our power, all of her power. Now her spell is complete. Good luck, little witch." The sweet voice whispered._

_The earth was right about her. She was greedy, a cannibal. And she didn't plan on stopping here. Whatever it took, whatever she had to do, she would never let be weak again._

_She ripped off her slave wear, adorning her master's clothes. She wrapped her skin up the same way, covering her chest, arms and hands._

_Peridot looked in the mirror and laughed. Her face was still cut up and she was much too small for these robes. But for the first time in her life she had the power to change something._

_She could fill her flesh moving as she willed it into place. Her face was free of cuts once more and she became larger._

_"She was right. Tonight is the night."_

_Peridot walked out if the stretched building, her glowing eyes the only thing illuminating the darkness that night._

\---------------------------------

Lapis gasped as Peridot's hands shot up to grab her wrists, dropping the memory catcher she'd made. She'd created a spell to find out more about why the green witch wanted all of this, but she never thought she'd witness something like this. 

"You weren't supposed to see that. What are you trying to do?" The blonde's grip tightened.

"Trying to figure out more. I know the how and what of your plan. I don't know the why." Lapis admitted, trying to pull her arms away. Was her former wife always this strong?

"Haven't you lived long enough to find out that the why is hardly relevant?" Peridot muttered, releasing her grasp before sitting up and resting her head on Lapis' chest. The other witch had been straddling her, and maybe it was twisted for the circumstance, but it felt nice to be coated in her beloved's warm body. She yawned, the bed beneath them beckoning her back to sleep wrapped up in the comfort of this beautiful woman.

"You're not mad?" Lapis asked, hands finding a resting place on the blonde's shoulders.

"I don't have a right to be mad about anything you want to do to me. Everything that I have done to you was just because of the plan. Our only other spat was about those girls you let into your bed. You're my wife. Can you blame me for being angry?" The green witch replied, eyes changing from their green hue to their glowing counterparts Lapis saw in that memory, "I'm a monster, after all. I can't help but be possessive over what's mine."

The blue witch leaned forward, "Is this how you got the idea to change me? Did you just want me to be a monster, too? I've never seen you like that before. Why didn't you tell me?"

"We can talk about it in the morning." Peridot murmured, reaching up to grab Lapis' shoulders and pulling her down. She peppered her wife's face with soft kisses before telling her goodnight once again, hoping to have a more pleasant dream this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spying leads to crying.


	18. Beyond The Veil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for self mutilation.

_"Come on, I'll take you with me. I need your help."_

_Sapphire looked up at the blood soaked figured, mouth agape._

_"For what?" she asked._

_"We have to teach our kind what we know. If they know then they can be strong. And if they can be strong, they can fight back. You can help me."_

_"A-Are you okay?" Ruby asked, looking at the wounds. Slashes across various parts of this stranger's body, blood flowing._

_"I'll live. Let's go."_

_Sapphire turned to look at Ruby, grabbing her hand and nodding her head. Never again. Maybe if this woman was there then they would never have to be apart again. The masked figured extended bandaged hands to them, and they left that horrible place far, far behind._

\-----------------------------------

_"Don't worry about other people's magic too much at first. Just focus on your own. Honing into what you're naturally best at will help you nurture your relationship with the flow of power going through you." Green eyes looked out over the group of witches, before a burst of wind was sent flying for her head. She ducked and looked at the dented wall behind her._

_A small woman cowered, trying to run off but being grabbed by the other witches there. How dare she try to strike their savior? The little witch was trembling, tears overflowing. She hadn't meant to, it had just slipped right out of her grasp. Was this the end for her?_

_"I admire the enthusiasm, but maybe a lesson in control will be necessary from Sapphire.. Next week." she chuckled, the room filling with relief._

\-----------------------------------

_"Why don't you ever take off that mask?" Sapphire asked one day as they finished going over the lesson plan for the next week. Reading, counting and basic magic. Getting it widespread was difficult, but Peridot said once it caught on it wouldn't be as strenuous to get the lessons across the world._

_"What's in a face? Comfort? What a precious idea. It doesn't matter. Flesh is just a different type of mask, in the end." The woman responded, sorting through whatever food was suitable to feed the hungry and what was no longer good._

\-----------------------------------

_"Don't you ever get tired?" Ruby muttered, watching as Peridot dug graves for the witches they couldn't save this time around, "Why not just leave them? We don't get graves."_

_Peridot's head snapped up, shooting the short witch a sharp glare. She dropped her shovel, walking over to one of the corpses. The blonde held up the body, bruised and bloody to face Ruby._

_"We do now! Look at her! She's gone! There's no going home, there is no running away for her! We couldn't save her, but we can do this and we will. So grab a shovel." The green witch hissed, eyes a light with rage, "One day a witch will be born that will wipe all of the white witches out, and then you won't have to shovel. And when that day comes this will never happen again. It'll be them who we can't spare the graves for."_

\---------------------------------------

_"You're strong. You can do this, with your power they'll never know the difference. This will work and you will finally be able to make the big changes we need." Peridot murmured, looking at her twisted reflection. The mirror never showed back her own face, not since the night she was cursed._

_She channeled all the strength in her to act and seem the most like her mistress as she teleported into that meeting. They were enchanted by her, drawn to her ability for destruction, but most importantly they feared her. And that was all she needed to get a seat on the council._

\---------------------------------------

_"Your plan actually worked! We dissolved the auction houses! We-" Sapphire mused, turning the corner to walk into the green witch's room, but halting as the scream unfolded from her mouth._

_Sitting there was a horrible monster that reeked of death, blood coating the creature's mouth as it devoured hearts. Broken jars surrounded it._

_"What's in a face?" Peridot muttered, voice gruff as bone's clacked together at every word, "It must be comfort. And I don't need it. I just need power."_

\--------------------------------------

Lapis shot up in bed, her head ringing. Ever since that night she couldn't stop the memories from over pouring. Her spell had worked too well. She was learning more than she ever had about her wife. This masked and bandaged version of Peridot was a hero for their people. So why? Why did the blue witch have to suffer?

Death flooded her mind. Her own twisted form haunted her. She spent most of her days in that cursed state now, and when she wasn't she felt her mind shattering. She clung to Peridot; her wife was the only comfort she had. She didn't want to think about how the blonde had done all of this.

Controlled her, crushed Lapis' soul into a dark figure that suited her needs. She gripped onto her arms, digging her nails into them and scratching at the skin. It would heal in seconds, but somehow it felt at least a little comforting to know she could at least still feel pain.

Lapis looked down to meet Peridot's gaze. She always woke up when the blue witch did now, the dreams connecting them in yet another way.

"Are you enjoying the show?" The green witch sighed, rubbing her face, "I don't like it when you look for the monster memories."

"I don't have to look anywhere for a monster. You and I are right here." Lapis mumbled.

"You don't look for any memories with yourself in them. You don't want to see us?" Peridot asked, leaning up and resting her head on her wife's back so she didn't have to watch as the blue witch picked at her own flesh.

"I don't want to see myself. I'm tired of it." Lapis scowled as her skin healed.

"Don't you feel even a single ounce of relief killing them? It was your purpose, even with feeling conflicted it should at least put your mind somewhat at ease."

"Only in that form." The blue witch admitted, "Such a great amount of relief that I can't put it into words. There's nothing but a broken creature in this skin though. It hurts to come back to reality knowing that you're sick enough to enjoy the thing you hated."

"It's not sick to fulfill your purpose. Why can't you just give in? Make it easy on yourself." Peridot wrapped her arms around the other witch, leeching off her warmth.

"I don't want to kill anyone! Why couldn't it have been someone else? Why couldn't it have been you? It's the power that you wanted. Why did it have to be me?" Lapis whispered, bringing her hands up to her face. She could swear she saw blood on them.

"I don't know." It was the only answer Peridot had.

Lapis leaned back into Peridot's cold grasp, body shaking as she tried to think about anything but the shredded remains of corpses and her own twisted laughter.

Peridot placed a kiss on the blue witch shoulder, "I'll show you something good."

The blonde withdrew her arms, biting into her palms before setting her hands over Lapis' eyes.

_Peridot watched as her pixie ran around trying to catch bees, only truly succeeding in falling on her face. She had to hand it to the kid. Pumpkin would always look back at her when it happened and give her a determined look as she got right back up._

_The blonde scoffed, rolling her eyes and get back to the irritating task of trying to find a mandrake root with perfect coloring._

_When she heard the small cry her heart stopped and her legs rushed towards the noise as fast as they could take her. When she got there and saw that the pixie was fine she let out a breath of relief. Pumpkin was not at all relieved though._

_She held in her small hands a finch with a broken wing, eyes full of tears as she looked up at her mother._

_"Mama, fix it!" Pumpkin cried, lips quivering._

_"I can't, Kin. I'm not like your moeder. My magic doesn't work like that." Peridot sighed, kneeling down as she saw the tears start to fall, "Don't cry, Kin. It's just a bird, and it's the cycle of life."_

_That definitely didn't help though, as the pixie started blubbering, "But I broke it!"_

_"You.. broke it?"_

_"I wanted to play with it, but I'm always too rough. Moeder fixes them, she says life is precious and to try to be more careful.." the pixie sniffled, "I don't mean to be so rough mama!"_

_Peridot face softened, "Both of you, such sympathetic creatures... What am I going to do with you? Kin, if you want to fix it you can. Moeder is never gone, because you're part of her. Think about her and think about the the finch. Imagine those tiny bones healthy and strong."_

_Pumpkin closed her eyes tightly, faint glow coming off of her as she concentrated. Suddenly the finch shot off into the sky, and the pixie stumbled a bit, feeling suddenly very dizzy. Peridot reached out and picked her up._

_"I did it.." Pumpkin murmured, totally spent from the magic use._

_"You did." Peridot mused, "Just like moeder. The roots can wait, let's go home. I want to see her."_

Lapis' hands trembled as she reached up to grab her wife's.

"The first time she used magic.. When you were in the marsh and I missed it." The blue witch whispered, tightening her grip.

"I wasn't exactly pleased that you'd been cleaning up her messes for her." Peridot admitted, "But I probably wouldn't have instilled in her the need to fix anything at all. That was all you."

"Why did you show me this?" Lapis murmured, turning to actually face the blonde.

"I wanted to cheer you up enough so that you could help me. Tonight is Samhain. I thought that since both of us were here then we might be able to see her." The green witch replied.

Lapis' eyes widened and she jumped up.

"We need sage! And fire wood! And, and.."

"Intention." Peridot finished, "I can't do it without you. We have everything else we need."

Lapis grabbed her wife's hand, pulling her out of the house. They went to work right away, making the bonfire and binding sage to toss into it. They pulled up every last thing that was still alive in Lapis' garden to offer up to the spirits.

Then they waited as night fell, watching spirit after spirit pass them by.

"What if it doesn't work?" Lapis frowned, getting more and more unnerved with each passing hour.

"We try again next year." Peridot shrugged, "And every year after that."

The blue witch turned her eyes to the ground, heart dropping. This was her only chance. Peridot was right, without each other they couldn't call to Pumpkin at all.

"Moeder! **Moeder!** Mama!"

Lapis' head shot up at the small cries, quickly looking over at Peridot to make sure she hadn't shifted her form and it was some sort of trick. But her wife was standing right there, and she could still here the familiar sound of tiny feet hitting the ground.

Pumpkin ran straight for her, stopping in front of her. It took everything in Lapis not to reach out and touch her, knowing that it would just go right through the pixie.

"You're here! Moeder I waited so long! I wanted to tell you thank you. You came back and buried me. It felt so cold, but then I was warm." The pixie smiled, wings fluttering lightly. Lapis' eyes widened, filling with tears.

"And I forgive you for the doll moeder. Please don't be sad about it anymore." Pumpkin murmured, looking away.

"O-Okay.. Are you alright over there?" Lapis asked, kneeling down to get as close as she could.

"Silly moeder, there is nothing to fear when you have been put to rest. Someday you'll join me, won't you?"

Lapis looked over at Peridot and shook her head slowly, "N-No.. I don't think so."

"Moeder will be there. Don't worry, Kin. I'll make sure of it." Peridot said, walking up, "It might be a long time. Do you think you can wait for her some more?"

"I'm good at waiting. I'm patient now!" Pumpkin grinned, "What about mama?"

"Not me. The earth and I do not get along." The blonde mused, "It's okay, though. You're strong, Kin. You don't need me to hold your hand anymore, do you?"

The pixie frowned and shook her head, before looking up at the horizon. The sun was starting to come up.

"I have to go. I love you moeder, mama."

"I love you too.." Lapis murmured, watching as Pumpkin ran off to catch up with all the other spirits.

Hands reached out, pulling her close and covering her eyes to stop her from staring out into a distance where there was no longer anything. Peridot could feel the tears falling down as it began to rain, putting out their bonfire.

"Let's go inside, Lapis. We'll see her again."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pumpkin calls Lapis moeder and Peridot mama because that's what mothers are called where they hail from. For Peridot that would be Russia, and for Lapis it's Aruba.


	19. Potion For Peace

After that day Lapis became more and more despondent. She spent more and more time in her cursed form, usually clawing at the window or glaring at Peridot with those piercing red pupils like she was right now. She'd stopped eating in her normal form, and her cursed self had picked up the slack; resulting to cannibalism whenever she'd get to kill a witch. 

Peridot no longer felt Lapis' magic struggling with her curse anymore in an attempt break out of her crazed mentality. 

When she wasn't in her cursed state the blonde would often find her hiding somewhere in the small home, whispering to herself in a pace so rapid Peridot couldn't decipher it. She'd catch Lapis slitting her throat, drowning herself in the tub, and even a few times digging her own eyes out.

Lapis had stopped prying into Peridot's memories in their sleep. They didn't talk anymore since the blue witch had stopped speaking. When she wasn't avoiding Peridot she was clinging to her as if life depended on it. The green witch was increasing worried by these behaviors, spilling herself into researching a way to reduce the burden on Lapis' mind and finding witches so they could end this as quickly as possible.

The white witches had become paranoid by proof of the blue witch's return, going into hiding. Sapphire was doing her best to find them using her vision, and Ruby was spreading misinformation to trip them up. Lapis had managed to kill most of their population on this half of the world, but there was still much work to be done. 

It was increasingly difficult to control the blue witch now that she'd gotten back into the swing of killing. It was easier than breathing to her and she'd almost gotten Ruby and Sapphire on several occasions. The two were getting irritated with Peridot over it, among other things.

They were mad she'd fallen back into this love affair, trying to say it made her logic falter at times. That it would be easier to get everything done if Peridot would just stop falling in love with Lapis. The blonde didn't see how it mattered.

She'd performed the curse, tricked and trapped Lapis many times. Love had never stopped Peridot, only made her hesitate. She knew that this was all for the good of her people, she had no disillusions just because she cared for Lapis.

Peridot was pretty sure it was just a biased. Unlike herself, Lapis was loved by every creature on Earth with the exception of the witches. While the dark witches came to love Peridot once she could control her abilities better, they never warmed to Lapis. It was like they were naturally revolted by what she was capable off. Peridot knew her wife always suffered around their kind. It was why she'd sent everyone away from their home in her past.

That castle used to be full of witches, but when Lapis came to live there half of them decided to leave. The other half Peridot sent away herself when she realized how miserable it made the blue witch. The only two that stayed with them were Sapphire and Ruby. They were always in best at tolerating Lapis, but even that had it's limitations and was never truly more than an act.

They were furious when Garnet had taken to Lapis so quickly, quick to spew hateful words about the young witch. Peridot remembered being easily agitated by their words. She and Lapis were so different, but so similar at times that it was painful. Sapphire and Ruby had been by her side for thousands of years, but there was always a disconnection. The feeling that they weren't exactly the same. Sometimes she would catch herself wondering if Lapis felt the same way.

"How could they hate you for no reason?" Peridot asked, turning her chair to lock eyes with the intense glare she'd been putting up with for an hour. She wondered if Lapis would fight the curse for the ability to go back to normal so she could answer. The green witch highly doubted it.

"You hated me as well.."

Peridot's eyes widened at the words. They came out in scratchy tones, sounding sharp and distorted. It sent chills down the blonde's spine. Lapis had never spoken in this form before, she wasn't aware that her wife was capable of thinking and processing through the madness.

"You hated me. You hated that the Earth loved me and that I loved it.."

"I-I didn't!" Peridot insisted.

"Liar."

"O-Only at first.." The blonde admitted, eyes searching her wife's for any tell other than this conversation that Lapis was in control, "I was jealous of your ability. I was jealous the Earth favored you. I was furious that you couldn't care less about what you can do with it. You were made to destroy, but all you did was create. And at first I hated you for that. I think a tiny part of me continued to hate you for it until I did this to you."

At that, Lapis rose to her feet from her perch on the windowsill, advancing toward Peridot. She grabbed the blonde's chin roughly, forcing the eye contact to continue.

"Of course you were jealous. I'm everything you're not. Admit it, you were more than happy to do this to me. Was it nice to be in control? Did it feel good to take the Earth's precious child and tare me down a peg? Was it fun to mangle my form just like your mistress did to you? You despise me so much."

These words felt akin to watching poison pour out of her lover's mouth. This was wrong. There was no way Lapis would ever say anything like this. Her eyes shook as she attempted to avoid the blue witch's gaze, a fruitless effort with the Lapis' strong grip on her jaw bone.

"N-no! I didn't want to do this, it was just the only way!" Peridot cried, "I never would have done anything to you if it wasn't for the situation at hand! I love you!"

"I suppose this twisted love suits us monster, doesn't it?" A horrible smile stretched across her face, twisted laughter finding it's way out of her mouth, "You know, I've got to thank you. I would have never known how good it felt to snuff out a life if it wasn't for you! I was such a fool. There is no value to life. We are all here to suffer and die."

"You- You're not my wife! You're just a demon brought up by this curse! Lapis loves and values life! She's not a monster!" Peridot snapped, feeling her form trying to fall apart in her distress, energy being pulled to her from the ground below them.

The laughter increased, the blue witch letting go of her wife's face as her body shook in hysterical amusement.

"You caught me! Well, sort of. I am myself. I'm just changing, dear. All of these ugly and bad things snowballed into this glorious monster because of you. All my murderous intention, gathered together into an unstoppable force. Do you know how much madness I had to spiral into to be able to talk? I'm suffering and I'm getting stronger. If I was you I'd get used this face, I don't think the good in me will last much longer. You should be happy. Now I'm everything you ever wanted me to be."

Peridot's face blanched, her hands shaking in her lap. She could feel it, her eyes glowing as her body rebuilt itself. Lapis watched gleefully as skin tore and reformed leaving a wendigo in it's wake. The blue witch walked closer, hands gripping onto Peridot's skeletal face.

"How thoughtful! Now we really are monsters together!" Lapis mused, crawling into her wife's lap and resting her head on Peridot's chest, "I like this form, the one the Earth imposed on you. It's very accurate, isn't it? You know, the only thing that would make this better would be a good hunt. Be a dear, and let me outside. I'll find us something good."

"You're too unstable. You'd kill anything that breathes." Peridot muttered.

"But I can feel that living energy. It's painful. Like a thousand needles piercing my skin. I want it to stop." The blue witch sighed, slumping down, "Did you intend for it to feel like this? It gets worse the closer they get. Feels like my blood is acid whipping through my veins."

"No. All it was supposed to do was get you to want to kill, to complete your purpose and to give you immortality. Everything else... was just the backlash of going against the laws of nature." The blonde replied, "The pain is constant?"

"Want to see?" Lapis asked, setting a hand against Peridot's chest, right where her heart was.

The blonde nodded hesitantly, and suddenly she could feel it. A dull ache at first, before becoming a searing pain as a bird flew by the window. She was relieved to feel it go away, but at the same time it was almost preferring to the uncomfortable feeling that returned.

"Just a taste." Lapis murmured, removing her hand, "Strangely though, I feel rather comfortable right now. I wonder if that's because of you."

The blue witch yawned, curling in closer. Peridot had never seen her sleep in this form, but then again she'd never heard Lapis talk in this form either. The blonde supposed anything could happen when you messed with the fabric of someone's being.

Red eyes finally closed and Lapis dozed off. Peridot spent all night trying to shift back into her regular form, having a difficult time with it for the first time in years. When the blue witch awoke her eyes were blue and blank, her body shaking.

Peridot frowned, getting up to try to get her wife some food in the hopes that she would eat something other than organs of her victims. Though, as soon as she turned her back she could hear Lapis scurry off to a different part of the house, presumably to go hide.

She went to go get Lapis before her wife inevitably hurt herself again, only to be surprised to find her pulling up some of the floorboards in her room. Apparently there were things that Lapis liked to keep hidden but also close.

She watched as the blue witch gathered a bunch of books, then getting up and rushing back to the living room, dropping them on Peridot's desk. The blonde picked one up, flipping through it. A spell book, filled with spells on healing. Was this what her wife had decided to spend all her time doing? All these years, studying the removal of curses and other ailments?

Peridot stood there, going through them as Lapis went back to grab some more things. The blue witch came back with a few more books and a small wooden box.

"Finish it. I know you're working on a spell to help me. I'm going insane. If you can finish making this potion and it works then I'll give you this back. I just want some peace." Lapis whispered, setting the box in the green witch's hands.

The blonde opened it, revealing the two rings inside. Their wedding rings.

"You kept them?" Peridot asked, "All this time?"

"I love you. I couldn't let them go. No matter how much it hurt... it was all I had left of you." Lapis replied, "Please help me. My mind is falling apart. The books should be able to assist you.. I would say that I could, but I don't know how long I can hold it together."

"I'll fix this. I swear I'll fix this... All of it."


	20. Hopeful Perspective

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Big thanks to Dreamland!

Pearl gripped onto Amethyst’s muddy scruff, arms around Garnet’s midsection, head rested on the fairy’s back. They’d been tracking through this bog for a few days on Amethyst’s back. It had felt like this journey would never end.

Pearl had managed to find them after six months of searching, all the way on the other side of the world. A group of imps had escorted her to their hut where Amethyst was sprawled out in her wolf form, whimpering as a fairy rubbed salve on her chest.

A witch had afflicted Amethyst with a curse, but the fairy had been able to halt it’s progress and had taken to caring for the werewolf ever since. Pearl had a feeling she knew just who the witch was after inquiring about why Amethyst was all the way out there in the first place.

They were effectively stopped there until Amethyst could recover enough and while Pearl hadn’t wanted to take the time to wait for them she knew it wasn’t in anyone’s best interest to go back alone.

The fairy was proficient in negating magic and Amethyst would be good to have in battle. Pearl needed them. She couldn’t do it alone. So they waited, planned, and inevitably got to know each other better.

After Pearl’s recounting of the last time she saw Lapis the fairy revealed to them that she was Ruby and Sapphire’s pixie. That Lapis had changed her. Freed her from being nothing more than an extension of her parent’s magic.

Free to become an adult, to practice her own abilities and ideologies. Free to be the Garnet that she wanted to be.

“Do you think we’re too late?” Pearl sighed, morale low as she stared at the murky water Amethyst trudged through. Amethyst growled at the mention and Garnet patted her head lightly.

“Everything will work out as it should.” Garnet responded, “She will try her best and so will we.”

 

——————————————————————————————————

 

Why?

Why wouldn’t it work?!

That was all the blonde could think as she watched her wife doubled over in pain. Blood poured out of Lapis’ mouth, nose and eyes as she flailed viciously.

Her nails gripping onto and tearing at the floor boards as wet, hissing sounds escaped her throat while she choked on her own plasma.

This was the tenth failure today. They’d been at this for a month and Peridot still couldn’t crack the code or find a way around this backlash of the curse. A curse she had made with her own ability, flawed and reckless even in the attempt at careful crafting.

Why? She knew. She knew it was against the simple rules of magic. She had learned that lesson firsthand. Apparently she hadn’t learned well enough. Without a doubt this was asking for a lot more from magic than what had been done to her.

Divine punishment for an eternity. Was that the cost? Could this ever end? It felt like it never would. What was she thinking? It had been foolish to believe that the witches she killed and her own death would be enough to pay this enormous price.

And that unpaid price had to go somewhere. Peridot’s hands shook as she tried not to reach out and hold her writhing wife. It wouldn’t be right and it couldn’t help the pain.

No, the only thing that could help the pain was trying over and over again until Peridot could finally get it right. She watched as Lapis’ regenerative abilities kicked in and red pupils met her green eyes.

They were furious. Lapis spit blood at her, cursing Peridot’s name as she recovered.

“This is stupid! Just give up! This won’t help **our** objective anyways!” Lapis snarled, voice broken and scattered in this horrible form.

“Not **our** objective. **You** don’t want this. Not the real you.. It’s my objective..” Peridot muttered, before turning her back and sitting back down to make yet another potion.

Lapis huffed, getting up and settling her upper body against Peridot’s shoulders. She reached out and grabbed the blonde’s hands to stop them from moving.

Peridot’s head snapped back, eyes glowing as she uttered a firm, “Get. Back.”

Lapis growled as an invisible force pushed her back a few feet. She crossed her arms and glared at the floor.

“I have to do this. I have to help. I have to **fix this somehow.** ” Peridot insisted, trying to get back to her work.

“You don’t have to! It’s pointless! Why.. Why won’t you just stop and look at me?!” Lapis shrieked, fists balled up as her rage shook her body.

Peridot froze and slowly turned around to look at the monster she’d created, to face what she had done.

“You made me! You already fixed me! This is what you wanted! Why?! Why do you regret me?!”

Peridot almost could have sworn someone was squeezing her heart, eyes softening, “I never wanted to do this to you. I didn’t think I would break you like this. I never thought it was possible that I could hurt you so much. Never.”

Lapis’ jaw dropped, hands relaxing as the blue returned to her eyes for a moment only for one to be devoured by red once more. She grimaced and Peridot watched as the blue witch’s body quivered in an effort to get some sort of balance. A battle of wills in one body.

“N-No! This is what you wanted! You liar! This has to be what you wanted!” Lapis cried, gripping onto her head.

“It’s not. I would have never wanted this for you.” Peridot insisted.

“Shut up! You lie! All you ever do is lie! Everything for this elaborate plan of your’s! Anything for your own gain!”

“Not everything was a lie!” Peridot snapped, “You should know that! You should.. Don’t you remember? Don’t you remember all the good between us!? Is that why this potion won’t work?!”

“When you lie so much why would I be inclined to think anything you’ve done has been sincere?!

The blonde slammed her fist down on the table at her side. If that was true then of course none of this could ever possibly work! It would only work if her intention could come across. It could only work if Lapis could believe all the love and memories she poured into it.

“Just like me that love is tainted. By all your lies and everything you did to make me into this!” Lapis shook, disgust and anger ravaging her face, “And now you don’t want this?! Now you don’t want me?! What are you hoping for?!”

Hope..

Peridot’s eyes widened as the realization hit her hard in the face. Lapis was right. Their love was tainted and the blue witch definitely didn’t need it in her state. The potions kept backfiring because love wasn’t the answer. What she needed was hope.

With as many regrets as Peridot had if there was anything she learned from her wife it was how to hope and to wish, then how to work hard to turn those things into a reality.

But hope.. Where in Lapis’ life was there still a tiny shred of pure hope? Peridot had killed her friends, had revealed Sapphire and Rudy as even worse allies than Lapis had thought, and the town on the island had been abandoned months ago.

The sea had become uncontrollable and unsafe to live around so the humans had all left. The magical creatures on the island soon followed after seeing what Lapis had become. They couldn’t bare to see their mostly silent friend and sometimes protector like this.

So what could- 

A knock on the door interrupted Peridot’s train of thought and she growled, pulling at her hair, “Sleep Lapis.”

Slumped against the ground and unconscious in a second Peridot picked her wife up, carrying her over and setting her on the couch before going to open the door.

“Sapphire. Something new to report?” Peridot asked, letting her old friend inside.

“Nothing on the white witches for now. But I have been able to get into contact with more factions of our kind and they are willing to begin negotiations. I also have another letter from Steven for _her_.” Sapphire glared pointedly in the general direction of the couch. 

Steven.. The human child Lapis had played with. The young boy that Lapis had taken in and found a home for regardless of how she felt about the two that owned said home. The boy Lapis couldn’t help but talk of fondly, one of the only people on the planet that she seemed almost fully at ease with.

Peridot took the letter in her hands and grinned.

Steven could be exactly what she needed.


End file.
